Questions In The Head
by Kenny's Most Wanted
Summary: Kyle questions his approach towards his crushes, Stan questions his feelings towards his friend, and Kenny questions why he can't get a break. Pairings both het and slash.
1. How Do You Make A Bet With No Money?

This is yet another of our RPs thus far. We made some rules on this one. Together, we came up with TEN items that we had to include in this story. They are: cheese, snakes, tea party, fingernail polish, rubber ducky, rain, hair cut, blanky, lake swim, and butterscotch. And yes, we put all ten in. It was fun. And, being huge Stan/Kyle fans, this was a bit of a switch…but it worked out nicely. Read on to find out.

**Questions In The Head**

Chapter 1- How Do You Make A Bet With No Money? 

"Dude, what's wrong with Sparky?" Kenny asked Stan as he held his own pooch in front of him. They were sitting side by side in the vet's waiting room, waiting for their dogs to get examined.

"He hurt his paw when we were walking." Stan explained. "Is yours okay?"

"Ah, he coughed up some more blood last night. I think he's about had it," Kenny mumbled sadly. "Why does Death insist on sticking around my house? He's starting to piss me off."

"That sucks dude." Stan pouted as well. "But hey, at least you know it's coming."

"Well, he ain't comin' for me. I don't do shit to cause it. I won't. I'm sick of it."

Stan nodded understandingly, feeling bad for Kenny and his pet. Figuring Kenny was just upset at the moment, Stan opted for a change in subjects.

"Did you hear about Kyle?"

Kenny's ears perked up. "Who is she this time?" he asked. He knew Stan HAD to be referring to Kyle's latest dating conquest. Ever since he turned sixteen, the boy's hormones suddenly went into overdrive and he was seen with a different girl 24/7.

"Wendy" Stan confirmed. "He's even trying to join one of the after-school clubs just to hang out with her."

At this statement, Kenny let out a soft chuckle. Kyle was indeed the smartest kid in their junior class, but he was also the stupidest kid in South Park. He was already insanely busy with his own clubs and community service projects and after-school tutoring sessions. "If he joins any more clubs, dude, we'll never see him," Kenny replied.

"I know right?" Stan agreed, flipping through some old magazine. "And in two weeks he'll just crush on some other chick."

"Yeah, but you know Kyle. Once he puts his mind to it, he won't stop until he's accomplished...whatever it is he's trying to accomplish," Kenny continued. "Besides, Wendy's like pretty much the perfect girl for him. They're both anal retentive suck ups." He smiled at Stan, and Stan returned his own grin.

Stan was happy to see Kenny smile. If only for that moment, his mind was taken off the impending fate of his dog. The boys gathered up their dogs and went their separate ways, with Stan hoping that Kenny would feel a bit better tomorrow about the whole "death" thing.

---

The next day at school, Kyle walked the hallways counting the numbers on the doors. He'd never been on the debate team before, but it seemed like the perfect club to join in order to get to Wendy. He'd get to see what she believed in right away, and they'd be forced to strike up conversation. Plus, Kyle was smart, and could hopefully wow her with his intellect on certain subject matter.

He stopped as he neared room 222. He lifted his hand to knock on the door, but he heard a booming female voice from within. He sighed dreamily as he listened to his newest crush articulate her disappointment on the latest issue of the team. He decided it was best to just walk in and take a seat toward the back of the classroom.

As he sat down, Kyle overheard bits and pieces of the topic being discussed. Something about wild salmon. He didn't care so much about that as he did about Wendy seemingly leading her side to victory. She was amazing. A good mind and a hot rack. That was a winning combination for Kyle.

"And we have to DESTROY any left-winged lunatic who is going to take them away from us! It's yet another animal that..." Kyle had tuned out of the cause and instead opted to stare with a goofy smile at the black-haired vixen. She tried hard to concentrate on the issue at hand, but she slowly succumbed to the trance of Kyle's emerald eyes. The harder she fought, the more determined he was to win her over.

Wendy cleared her throat and tried to focus once again. "They want to count the wild salmon along with the farm raised so they can claim it's no longer endangered. Well that's wrong! Statistics can be twisted around, but facts can't and facts say those animals need to be preserved! Thank you."

She smiled sweetly and stepped down. Some people applauded. Kyle made sure to clap a bit louder for her.

In fact, Kyle made sure to give Wendy a standing ovation. One that would earn him a talk with the debate captain after the meeting.

The other side got up to counter the argument. The leader said something about progress, but who really gave a shit what he had to say? Kyle certainly didn't. His focus remained on Wendy as she left the podium, wondering where she might go next. He hoped he'd caught her attention. He was pretty sure he did. But was it in a good way or a bad way? Only time would tell, it seemed.

"And that is why wild salmon are tasty and we should just eat our way to victory! Thank you," the other debate captain concluded, eyeing Wendy and her cold stare. She was repulsed by his awful rebuttal, and even more repulsed that she didn't have a chance to respond, for the time was up. She watched everyone file out of the room excitedly, leaving only one boy behind.

"You did really well." Kyle commented.

Wendy couldn't contain herself. She was seeing red and was in no mood to talk sweetly to her ex-boyfriend's best friend. That's what Kyle was. Why was he in here anyway? "I'll do even better when that clod-hopper team captain of theirs doesn't speak," she grumbled. Her frustrations were apparent, and Kyle took this as an opportunity to slide in the seat next to her.

"Well, I just hope I'm on -your- team a lot." he complimented, trying to melt away her anger. Or at least redirect her focus. "I'm in the class now."

"Kyle, you can't just up and join the debate club. We've got history, research...cases. You're just trying to put something else on your college apps," Wendy pointed out sweetly. She narrowed her eyes. "And if that's the case, you won't take it seriously. I don't want some slacker on my team."

Kyle didn't say anything, but he felt himself fall harder for her than ever before. She was playing hard to get."I'm hardly a slacker," he argued. He wasn't offended by the remark. In fact he had a smile on his face as he spoke. She was talking to him, and showing her intelligence all at the same time. "I can get caught up on this stuff. You know I'd be good for the team."

"We'd be good together," he added quickly, before she had time reconsider.

Wendy sighed. "I don't know Kyle. We're really pretty full here. With all your other classes, I don't know how reliable you'd be."

Kyle felt himself losing patience. Why wasn't she molding into his hands like putty? "I'm an excellent asset in any situation, Wendy, I assure you," he said, laying it on thick. He had practiced his interview speeches since he was old enough to shake hands and kiss ass.

"Kyle, you can't expect to wow me with your kiss-ass interview speeches," Wendy counteracted. She saw right through him. "This isn't some after-school fun hour. We work HARD!"

Slightly embarrassed by the girl's remark coinciding with his own perverse thoughts, Kyle's eyes finally left Wendy's. "I-I can work hard," he weakly protested as he looked to the floor. "Come on, just gimme a chance."

Wendy smirked. "You sound so pathetic. Come on Kyle, I'm fucking with you! If these are your debating skills, you really WILL need to prove yourself."

That little tease! First she mentioned things being hard, and then she claimed she was 'fucking' with him. She was throwing him off and then calling him on it. Probably on purpose. God, she really WAS a genius. He really did hope he was on her side more often than not. For now though, he had to focus if he had any shot of gaining her approval.

"Why don't you want me in the club?" he questioned. "Is it really because the club is full? Because last I checked, anyone was free to express an opinion. Or, maybe it's the whole Jewish thing. What do you have against my people?" he grilled her.

"Better," she said, grinning. "Its good to get worked up, but don't let my blatant statements piss you off too much. Then you'll lose sight of what you're fighting for. And you'll start making ridiculous accusations. Like claiming your Jewish ancestry makes me want to talk to you less." She paused and put a hand on Kyle's knee. "Go with your gut, Kyle. Fight for what you believe."

He gulped, noting the placement of her hand. With growing determination, among other things, he looked her back in the eyes and placed his hand overtop of hers, his palm starting to sweat with nerves.

"Wendy, I want in this club." he insisted. "...Really badly." he added.

The way he looked at her gave her an idea that he wasn't just talking about the club. She withdrew her hand and stood up. "Well then, we'll see you every Monday and Wednesday then." She walked to the door and turned back. "I just hope you can keep up, Kyle," she said. She winked at him and left the room.

Kyle's spine tingled at the wink of her eye. Trying desperately to play it cool, he smiled back at her. "Oh, I can." he assured her with certainty. "Looking forward to it."

Truer words were never spoken.

---

Lunch period the next day was a time of celebration for both Stan and Kyle. Stan's dog was on the road to recovery, and Kyle had gotten his way with Wendy the day before. If all went well on the debate team, he'd soon have his way with her again.

"Dudes, you'll never guess what I did yesterday," Kyle said, eager to share with his friends his news. Little did he know, they already knew.

"South Park isn't that big of a town, Kyle," Stan replied. "We hear about shit before it's even happened."

"Yeah." Kenny agreed. "You got into Wendy's club. So?"

Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Ky, we both know you're gonna hook up with her and then dump her. Why sign your life away to yet ANOTHER after-school club? You can just...hit on her at a party and get in her pants that way," Kenny continued.

"Wendy doesn't usually do parties." Kyle reminded them. "And neither do I."

"Only because you're both too busy." Stan figured.

"And what makes you so sure I'm gonna dump her?" he challenged.

"Because it's what you do, dude." Stan said. 'You get a girl-either in bed or in a relationship-then you get bored and move on."

Kyle shrugged his shoulders. "They haven't been good for me." He leaned over the table. "But guys, its cause I've been going about it all wrong. I need an intellectual equal!"

Stan rolled his eyes. "Right."

Kyle's eyebrows furrowed. "Are you calling me a liar, asshole?"

Kenny laughed, mocking Kyle. "Of course not, Wendy's brain's fucking hot."

Kyle growled at his friends. Just as soon as he felt himself get angry, he felt Wendy's words of "just go with your gut", and he cooled himself off. He went to picking at his plate. "Just because the smartest girl in school happens to be insanely hot doesn't mean I'm not looking at her brain."

"Just try to leave her in two weeks." Kenny asked. "We have money on it."

"We do?" Stan asked, unaware of the conditions. Kenny elbowed him in the ribs, and he yelped. "Oh...yeah! WE DO!"

Kyle stared at his two best friends, putting up a defense on the other side of the table. "Whatever, dudes. I'll have a girlfriend AND be rich. Thanks for your faith in me," he said, standing up and leaving their table area.

Stan looked to Kenny in guidance. "What money?"

Kenny shrugged. "Whatever you have. It'll make it interesting."

"I don't have money. I'm planning on using it all on a hair cut tonight," Stan explained.

"You're spending all your money on a haircut?" Kenny blinked. "You need to make more money then."

"Tell my boss that." Stan grumbled as he ate his lunch.

"Meh, it's just as well. I'd probably win and then die the next day or some shit."

"Ken, you haven't died in like...two months. Maybe its over, you know?"

Kenny laughed satanically. "Yeah. Sure." Suddenly, he got a bright idea in the back of his head. "HEY! Why don't I give you a haircut? We can make this bet for real, and, I can have an excuse to stay out of my house. Damn Death won't have a fucking clue where I'm at."

"You?" Stan raised an eyebrow. "But dude, you don't know how."

"My mom cuts my hair sometimes to save us money." Kenny informed him. "There's nothing to it."

Stan eyed his friend suspiciously. He was a guy, so he wasn't supposed to give a shit how his hair looked. Secretly, he was concerned about every strand. If one was out of place, he doused it with water and products until it would be in the right place. He didn't tell his way macho friends that. Plus, he didn't want Kenny to feel as though he WANTED him to die. "Uh...dude, I don't know."

"Ah come on." Kenny smiled at him. "Tell you what: Lemme cut your hair, and I'll go double or nothing on the Kyle bet."

"I only have seven dollars, Kenny."

"That's a lot of money to me." Ken said.

Stan laughed. "Alright, dude. If it means THAT much to you, I'll do it." He smiled warmly at his beaming friend. Kenny was lit up like a Christmas tree. You would've thought he just received the best news of his life.

---

Stan sat nervously on a chair in the middle of his kitchen floor. Kenny had just come from upstairs with a towel in tow. "Alright, dude, where's your scissors?"

"Over there." Stan pointed to a drawer. "Are you SURE you know what you're doing?" Stan asked nervously.

Kenny stood up proudly and put his fingers in a sign in front of him. "Scouts honor."

Stan eyed him irritably. "You weren't IN scouts, Kenny."

Kenny shrugged. "Well, I've been camping before."

"You were homeless."

"Same thing." he said as he got behind Stan and started running his fingers through the boy's black hair."You know, Stan, you have awesome hair. Why do you style it so much?" Kenny said, assuming hair-dressing mode. He laughed as he saw Stan's terrified expression. He decided to fake him out and made a snipping noise with the scissors. "Uh...oops..."

"What'd you do!" Stan demanded to know, his voice cracking.

"Nothing!" he promised. "I'm fuckin' with you. Heh-heh."

Stan growled. "Dammit Kenny, don't do that!"

"You gotta relax dude. Or else you'll flinch and I WILL fuck up. Chill."

"I'll CHILL when you stop fuckin' with me," Stan sneered.

Kenny grinned. He had a dirty thought, but soon let it pass. "Alright, do you want anything special, or just a trim?" At the time, he was pulling his hands through, adding up the ends to ends, as if he actually DID know what he was doing. Stan relaxed a bit.

"I don't know." Stan admitted. He actually did know, but he still didn't trust Kenny completely with those scissors. The less time Kenny spent cutting his hair, the better. Unless of course Ken DID know what he was doing, but Stanley wasn't about to take that chance.

"Trim's fine." he finally answered.

Kenny nodded and with that, he went to work. Stan cringed each time Kenny snipped off more than he had expected, but much to his surprise, Kenny was extremely professional throughout. He barely answered Stan's anxious questions because he was concentrating. He wanted Stan's hair to look good. Stan looked good, so why would he wish for anything else?

Kenny cut a big more off. Wanting Stan to feel at ease, and wanting to calm himself down a bit, Kenny began posing questions to Stan like a true hair cutter would.

"So, how long for Kyle and Wendy?" he said, wanting to get the bet issue settled.

Stan shrugged, still suspicious of Kenny and his scissors. "Probably over before he gets to her. She's not like the others, dude," Stan noted.

"I agree, but I need a time frame." he urged. "A week? A month? What do you think?"

"I dunno. Let's say...three weeks. Three weeks, and Kyle will be eyeballing Bebe or some slut. Wendy won't put out. I know it."

Kenny snipped a bit more. "What _will_ she do?" he asked casually.

Stan blinked. "...What?"

"She doesn't have to put out if she'll do other stuff. And if she does, he can put up with it longer than three weeks."

Stan made a disgusting face. "Ugh, I don't know, dude! I don't want to think about Kyle and Wendy."

Kenny sighed and paused his progress to look into Stan's eyes. "If you're saying that cause you're not over her, then you've got serious issues dude."

"Its not that!" Stan said immediately. "Its just...I'm SO over her, it grosses me out to think about being with...her," he reasoned.

Kenny smiled. "Well, you're not pissed at Kyle for going for her. That's a start I guess."

"I'm not, no," Stan assured uncertainly. "Its just weird."

Kenny sighed. "Stan, very few people end up with their first loves. The ones that do eventually wonder what else is out there and end up screwing around. Think about that, and consider yourself lucky that you got out when you did...Oh, and we're done." he announced.

"...W-we are?" Stan questioned.

"Mm-hmm." Ken announced proudly. "Look." he said, offering Stan a mirror from the wall to glance inStan slowly opened one eye, looking into the mirror. A breath of relief escaped his mouth. He opened the other eye to make sure the first wasn't lying to him. He stared at himself in the mirror, finding that Kenny hadn't done such a horrible job after all. He didn't even give him some kind of ugly mullet.

"Shit Kenny, you're not so bad," he said, slapping the blonde on the back and getting up to further inspect.

Kenny smirked. "Told you so." Another perverted thought entered the blonde's mind. He tried to remember if anyone else had told him he wasn't so bad after all in the bedroom.

Stan reached over and embraced him in a manly don't-touch-just-barely-show-affection hug, interrupting his thoughts. "I think I actually like it better than the stylists at the salon, Ken!" Stan squealed. He was emitting his girly side, but he was so relieved Kenny hadn't blotched up."...The salon, huh?" Kenny giggled.

Stan froze. Shit! Had he just said that?

"No wonder your haircuts cost so much." Kenny figured, not mocking him much at all.

"I mean...uh...the...well, the place I get my hair done. I mean CUT! Yeah," Stan stammered, and felt his face go red with embarrassment. "So are you hungry for some food, Kenny?" he asked, directing his friend's attention away from his embarrassment. When food was involved, Kenny was always focused.

"Sure." Kenny agreed. "...Did you bake it yourself?"

"Shut up!" Stan pouted.

It was now Kenny's turn to slap Stan's back. "Let's eat." he agreed.


	2. Do Women Have Vodoo Powers?

**Chapter 2**- _Do_ Women Have Voodoo Powers?

Another debate club meeting let out. As he had done each day since joining the group, Kyle approached Wendy after class to congratulate her on a good performance, no matter how good it actually was or what side Kyle was actually on during the debate.

Wendy eyed the Jew suspiciously. "You were fighting against me today, Kyle. Do you know NOTHING about debates? I'm not your friend in this one. I'm your enemy."

Kyle grinned. "Well, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer, right?"

Wendy rolled her eyes slightly. "I suppose. You're in the club now you know. You don't have to suck up."

"I just think you're a worthy opponent, that's all." Kyle made extra sure each time he complimented her that he looked deep into her eyes, sending a subliminal message of what his true intentions were. True, Kyle found Wendy mysterious, but he was also a guy. He'd thought of other ways she'd be a good opponent. "Besides, why would I want you to be an enemy? If I burn my bridges now, we might not work so well when we get teamed up together." Which he made sure would happen...very soon. Teaming up together meant doing research together.

"Fair point." she admitted. "But a truly good debater is able to argue any side of an issue. Even ones they themselves don't believe in."

"What's the issue for next time?" he asked curiously.

Wendy crinkled her nose. "It is NOT my idea of a topic at all."

"What isn't?" Kyle extended his neck to hear better.

"Manbearpig," Wendy grumbled. "At least, that's what I've heard."

"God." Kyle rolled his eyes. "I'd rather talk about the fish again."

Wendy sat down on a nearby folding chair. "That's what I said! That ridiculous concept has been floating around for far too long now. I can't believe there are people that actually believe it!"

Kyle nodded and took a seat next to her. "I know huh? I guess that's what happens when you live in a town like this."

"Yeah."

Kyle paused at this thought. He knew Wendy thought of herself as worldly, despite her never having been out of Park County. He decided to go a different direction. "When I turn 18, the first thing I'm doing is getting out of this Podunk mountain town. I can't stand the thought of all of these inbreeds tainting my brain any longer."

Wendy smiled at the thought, daydreaming a bit herself now. "Personally, I'd like to see the world a little before college. Maybe go around Europe or something."

"I've been to Israel," Kyle said proudly, pressing his palm on his chest and emphasizing the word "I". He frowned. "But not because I wanted to."

This caught Wendy's attention, as Kyle hoped it would. "Was it a family trip?"

Kyle shook his head. "More like an insane misadventure."

"Whaddaya mean?" Wendy asked, curiously, crossing her legs and leaning over them with intrigue.

Kyle grinned. He had her right where he wanted her.

About twenty minutes passed by the time Kyle finished telling his crazy story about world travel, as only it could happen in a place like South Park. The sun was setting at this point, and the school had long since emptied out of people staying after school hours. "...And then we snuck home." he finished before taking a deep breath.

Wendy had forgotten to blink a long time ago. Her eyes felt as though they were literally glued to Kyle. The entire time. She had found that she inched herself closer with every fluctuation in his voice, so that now she was practically sitting in his lap. She blinked her eyes, registering the end. "So did you get to keep the llama?" she asked, proving to him that she could listen intently.

"Nah. We gave it to some animal shelter." He shrugged. "It sucked ass there."

"Kyle..." Wendy paused to take a deep breath. "That is...incredible. I had no idea you were so...adventurous." She shrunk back into her chair. "I've never been outside of Park County myself. But that won't be true come next September." And Wendy sat there telling Kyle about how her family and her family had discussed the possibility of her becoming a foreign exchange student in France.

All the while, Kyle sat quietly, offering the occasional conversation maintaining "uh huh", and staring dreamily into her dazzling blue eyes.

"And so that's what I think." she finally finished. Another twenty minutes had passed by the time she was done.

"That's pretty cool." Kyle said, smiling at her. "So wait, you'd be gone for a whole semester?"

"Well, yeah. That's how the program works."

"Oh," Kyle said, unable to mask his disappointment.

Wendy noticed it. "B...but that's not until next year."

"Sure." he replied, trying to be a man about it.

"Even if I liked it, I already applied to some perfectly good American colleges," she said, trying to reassure him.

"I applied to Harvard. My dad kinda forced that one on me," Kyle offered, silently hoping that was a school she was talking about. He didn't know why he was letting the next few years bother him so much--he barely held on to a girl for the next few weeks.

"I applied to a few different places."

"...Out of state?" he dared to ask.

"Mostly, yeah."

"...Huh." Kyle said.

"What?"

"It's just...Nothing."

"No, what?"

"...Well, I'd...I'd just...miss you if you moved."

Though they had been flirting, Wendy's eyes widened at Kyle's sudden confession. She was speechless for the first time in her life.

"... B-but um, that's cool though." Kyle said, worrying already that he'd screwed up. "I mean, you said you wanted to see the world."

"...It's...It's not like I wouldn't come back." she said. "I mean, there just aren't very many good colleges out here."

Kyle sniffed, scrunching his nose and wiping it off with the back of his hands. "Yeah its cool." He looked to a window. "SHIT, its dark outside! We better get going, sorry to have kept you Wendy. Good luck with the exchange stuff." In less than a second, Kyle was speeding out the door, refusing to look back.

---

Some more time passed. By that the following night, Kyle felt like he had to call someone. He couldn't seem to get Wendy off of his mind, and it was strange. The idea of her leaving town bothered him. He was sure he could get with her before then, but what was the point if she was moving? At least the other girls he'd been with had stayed around afterward. He picked up his phone and dialed Stan with a heavy sigh.

"Dude, you've gotta help me!" Kyle breathed into the phone. Not only was Stan his best friend, but Stan was also Wendy's ex. He was BOUND to help Kyle in some way.

"Hey, Kyle," Stan answered, admiring his new haircut in a mirror. "What do you need?" he asked.

"I've got a problem," he confessed. "It's Wendy. She's looking into leaving South Park."

Stan couldn't help but chuckle. "Damn, you driving her away THIS quickly? I woulda thought you'd try to put on the 'ole Kyle charm before that could happen."

Kyle glared at the receiver. "NOT cuz of me! Cuz of college and stuff."

"Oh."

"Oh! Dude she might leave! That'd suck!"

"Kyle, that's over a year from now! Aren't you thinking ahead a bit too much?"

"That's my problem. I shouldn't be. What's wrong with me? Did she do this stuff to you?"

Stan sighed. "You've fallen under her spell, I see. Kyle, how long do you think it took me to get over her?"

Kyle didn't respond.

"Well, it was too damn long! I was only nine at the time of our break up...I didn't get over her until a few years ago! She does that, I'm pretty sure she's got some voodoo on boys or something."

Kyle snorted. "That's ridiculous, Stan."

"Maybe she's just that awesome of a chic?"

"...Maybe." Kyle admitted. "She's definitely doing -something- to my brain. I don't like it."

"Just enjoy her while she's here dude. You can still get your two weeks in. Or however long it'll be."

Kyle growled frustratingly at the phone. He didn't like how his friends automatically assumed he was going to dump girls just as soon as he learned their names. Stan's lack of faith in him angered him a bit, which set him off. "Why you gotta be like that, man?"

Stan shrugged. "Like what? That's what you do, Kyle!"

"It might be what I've done, but that doesn't mean that's the kinda PERSON I am! Maybe I'm just picky? Maybe I'll find someone great and stay with them? Did you ever stop to think of THAT? Huh?"

"Whoa, dude, calm down!" Stan pleaded. "You're...you're not that kinda PERSON, Kyle. You're just...a typical guy."

"Oh, and you aren't?" Kyle challenged through barred teeth.

"Actually, I've never even dated a single girl SINCE Wendy. So my guess is no."

"...Oh." Kyle paused. "Well, okay, but you're a typical gay guy then."

It was Stan's turn to feel frustration. "JUST BECAUSE I DON'T WHORE MYSELF OUT TO WOMEN DOESN'T MAKE ME GAY, KYLE!"

"You're right. It's the lack of interest in any girls that does that." Kyle said.

"I have interest in girls!" Stan lied. "They just don't interest me as sex slaves. Dude, females aren't just holes for you to stick it to."

"You're right. And you don't WANT to stick it to them," Kyle backfired.

"...I...I do so!" Stan snapped.

"Dude, whatever. The point here is about Wendy. What am I gonna do? I told her I'd...I told her I'd miss her if she moved. Christ, she probably thinks I'm a tool now."

Stan blinked. "You told her you'd miss her? Kyle, she doesn't think you're a tool. She probably thinks you're a fool! Dude! You don't say that to a girl you haven't even kissed!" He couldn't contain his laughter. It was uncomfortable, letting off the aggression from the previous conversation. Just the same, it infuriated Kyle more.

"God dammit, it just slipped out!" he retorted. "We grew up together. We went to school together. It's NORMAL to miss someone when they're gone!"

"Are you gonna miss me?" Stan asked, curious. He knew the answer, but wanted Kyle to think.

"Well, duh. Not in the way YOU want me to though," Kyle joked. He shook his head. "That's different anyway, dude. You're my best friend. She's...just the girl I've known since _you_ puked on her."

"Well there you go. You can't miss her too badly. You guys aren't even that close."

"Yeah? Well maybe I wanna be...And maybe that'd be pointless if she's gone in a year."

Stan slapped his forehead. "KYLE! This isn't you! Stop thinking about a year from now and just live in the NOW! Do what you wanna do! Fuck who you wanna fuck! Stop worrying! You're giving me a headache."

Kyle grumbled something inaudible.

"What?" Stan questioned.

Kyle grumbled something again. Whatever it was, it ended with the word "fag."

"...I'll take that to mean I'm right."

"Stan..." Kyle started. He breathed out. It was useless. Stan WAS right. Kyle had never seen any relationship through in his entire life. Why was he even worrying so much about the future when he hadn't even gotten to first base? "I'm pathetic," he admitted.

"I know, so stop it." Stan agreed.

"Fine, I will." Kyle decided. "Thanks dude."

"No prob." Stan bit his lip, wanting to ask a question but too scared to continue.

Kyle could sense his uneasiness and called him out on it. "What're you thinking about, Stan?"

"Nothing." he insisted. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Stan..."

"Goodnight, Kyle!" Stan practically yelled, slamming down the receiver. He sat on his bed, pondering why he even opened his mouth about not dating any girls. It bothered him what Kyle had suggested. He didn't want to think about how close to the truth Kyle really was...

---

Stan was up until the wee hours contemplating what Kyle had said. He couldn't sleep with those thoughts on his mind. At least not until his brain also insisted he needed sleep. He walked through the doors of school the next day looking very tired.

"Check out the zombie!" Kyle nudged Kenny as they neared Stan after first period. Kenny simply smiled at Stan in return.

Stan looked up to his two approaching friends. A temporary glaze had fallen over his eyes, and it was hard to see much of anything except a big red Afro and two entrancing blue eyes behind a mess of yellow.

"You look like shit." Kenny observed. "Except for your hair." he joked.

Kyle stared a bit closer at his best pal. "You did get a haircut huh?" he finally noticed.

"Guess who gave it to him?" Kenny said proudly. The look on his face and the stance he had would have made it awfully hard for Kyle to guess wrong.

Still, Kyle decided to play dumb. "Stan, did you do it yourself? It looks pretty crappy," he said while smiling.

Kenny playfully punched the teasing Jew in his arm. "I did it, and it looks damn good."

Stan blushed. For no real reason, just because. Kyle took notice. "Ah, now that you mention it, it DOES look damn good, Ken. You're not so bad with Stan, are ya? You should do it to him more often."

Stan's eyes went wide and his blush went from a light pink to a deep maroon.

Another perverse thought entered Kenny's mind. He smiled and responded with "I will if he'll let me," as subtly as possible. He quickly added "I'll do your hair too, but only if you pay by the hour." just to make sure the conversation remained on hair.

It was too late for Stan to clean up Kyle's purposeful gay stab. Kenny made sure to deepen that wound. "Dude, I've...I've gotta get to class," he said, trying to break the force field of the boys in front of him. He felt too weak to pry them apart enough to get past. This is pathetic, he thought. With one solid attempt, he pushed past them and waved with the back of his hand. He heard laughter filling his ears from behind.

The laughter slowly died down, leaving Kyle and Kenny alone in the hallway.

"So," Ken asked, changing the subject. "How's it going with Wendy?"

Kyle groaned. He didn't want to talk about Wendy anymore. And he was sure he had detected a slight undertone of Kenny's mocking, so he opted to possibly give Stan a push. "Its fine, dude. Hey, I think you should catch up to Stan. He doesn't look so good, and I think he's pissed at me for some reason," he lied.

"So why don't you catch up to him and work it out?" Kenny challenged.

"B...because...I need to catch up Wendy!" Kyle decided, already walking in the opposite direction. He patted Kenny on the shoulders twice and spun around. "See ya later, dude!"

Kenny smirked, knowing that Kyle had yet to get some off of that girl. This was probably the reason for his retreat, but the blonde decided to bite his tongue on the matter and catch up to Stan. He DID look tired, and Kenny didn't want him falling asleep in inappropriate places and falling down the stairs or something.

"Hey Stan!" he yelled with his hand up, rushing to greet his friend who was about to turn the corner. "Wait up, dude!"

"What dude?" he replied as nicely as possible. "I gotta get to class."

Kenny smirked. "Skip it. I've got a better idea." He didn't really, but he wanted to see Stan's reaction.

Stan paused, blinking at his friend. That damn blush returned to his face. "L-like what?" he asked curiously.

Kenny's smirk remained as he put his arm around Stan's shoulder and twisted him the other direction. "Just come with me."

Stan eyed him suspiciously, ignoring another feeling that was spreading like wildfire all over his body. "Kenny, I can't afford to miss this class. Maybe...maybe after school?"

"Why can't you miss it?" Ken questioned. "What class is it?"

Stan lowered his eyes to the ground. "Study hall," he said, barely above a whisper.

Kenny scoffed. "And you can't skip that?"

"No! Cuz, see, if I miss another class I'll...I'll get in trouble." he lied. "And uh...A-and I'm damn sure not getting in trouble for ditching study hall."

Kenny dropped his arm, causing a chain reaction of Stan's shoulders falling and Stan letting out a deep breath. "FINE," Kenny said, noticeably backing off. "I was just trying to cheer you up, dude."

Stan felt guilt replace his unexplained fear. "Well, we can...do what you want after school if you're up for it,' he offered. "I mean, it IS Friday."

"Yeah, maybe." Kenny shrugged in response. "Don't worry about it."

Stan stood there awkwardly, waiting for the unknown. Kenny just smiled and did the same. "Well, I'll see you after school then."

"Kay" he replied.

With that, Stanley headed to class. Kenny watched after him. After school huh? At least that was a start.

Stan made his way into the crowded study hall, taking his seat by some random kid that vaguely resembled Kyle's cousin Kyle. He set out his books in front of him, laying his pencils and pens in a nice, neat row. Finding he couldn't bring himself to crack open a book, he stared at the clock until the bell sounded, not a single thought in his mind (except for maybe one).

---

Stan did meet up with Kenny after school, as they'd agreed upon. As Stan crossed the tracks into Kenny's neighborhood, he noticed a large pop tent being set up in the front yard of the McCormick residence.

Stan laughed as he walked up to his busy-at-work friend. "WHAT are you doing, Kenny?" he asked, mildly amused.

"Setting up the tent. What's it look like?" he replied.

"This was your big idea?" Stan questioned.

"What's wrong with camping?"

"In your front yard? Dude, I know they say it's a jungle out there...and you've got the yard to prove it...but seriously. This isn't what I'd call roughin' it," Stan mocked, unable to hide his grin.

"Well we all can't afford to rent a space in the mountains." he replied, flipping Stan off.

"Kenny...you don't need to "rent" spaces in the mountains. Kyle and I..." Stan trailed off. He didn't want to bring up an unpleasant memory for himself. Seeing that Kenny was now exasperated at Stan's jokes, though, he continued. "Kyle and I used to sneak up there and camp out without paying a dime."

"...Then what the fuck are we doing here?" Kenny wondered out loud.

"Beats me."

Kenny shrugged. "Okay then. Help me move this stuff up there."

Stan did as he was told, piling it all into Kenny's broken down truck that had sat in the front yard so long, it was growing roots. Several weeks ago, he had convinced his dad to take the cinderblocks out from under it, and replace them with tires he snatched from the junkyard. Because of this deed, his dad rewarded him with access to the truck on the weekends (when he didn't need it for beer runs).

"Did you get caught?" Kenny asked on the way up.

"Huh?"

"Camping with Kyle," he explained. "You obviously don't do it anymore."

"Don't do WHAT?" Stan asked, embarrassed.

Kenny turned to him and feigned a "duh" look. "CAMP with KYLE, you retard! Did the park rangers kick your ass or something?"

"Oh, heh," Stan replied. "No, no, we just...we don't do that anymore."

"No shit. Why not?"

'We just...don't." Stan shrugged.

Kenny drove for a bit, until another question entered his mind.

"And another thing. You never invited me along even when you DID do it. What the fuck?"

Stan searched Kenny's eyes for answers. "Well, its just...we were...we didn't want...it wasn't anything against, you, dude."

"You...I...blah blah blah," Kenny mocked, uninterested in Stan's excuses. "That's shitty, Stan." He leaned over and patted Stan's knee. "You've got A LOT of times to make up for then, don'tcha?"

Stan flinched slightly when he felt Kenny's hand on his knee. He glanced downward at it ever so slightly, before returning his gaze straight ahead. He laughed nervously in response to Kenny's statement. "I guess so," he said.

The mountains increased in size as Kenny's truck sputtered down the Mountain pass and dirt roads leading all the way to the spot that Stan had directed him to. He pulled up next to a branching tree, and nearby a small pond. "How'd you find this place anyway?"

"Oh, Kyle insisted we stay here one night to prove that there was no Manbearbig," Stan informed him.

Kenny nodded understandingly. In their world, a statement like that made total sense.

"Well, this is pretty cool." Kenny commented. And it was. It was Stan and Kenny. Together. And alone in the woods. As he set up their campsite, Kenny's concern about getting busted decreased. Stan's theory seemed to be correct so far. If you acted like you reserved a spot on the campgrounds, everyone assumed that you did.

The air turned chilly as the sun started to set, producing reddish purplish hues across the horizon. It was almost October in South Park, and the leaves had started to change color. It was too cold to even think about swimming in the lake, no matter how inviting it was. Still, Stan eyed it as though there was a memory hidden deep within.

"You got a history with that lake?" Kenny asked as he propped up the sticks in a fort-like fashion around the pre-made fire pit. He gave up lighting it and went to work on setting up the tent.

"I swam in it sometimes." Stan responded honestly. "How's the tent coming?"

"Fine." Kenny said. "...You know, you could help instead of staring at that lake."

Stan frowned at how Kenny called it "that lake." Stan had shared some amazing memories in "that lake", and as much as he forced himself to forget about them, he was afraid that going up to scene of the crime might not have been a good idea after all. He looked over at Kenny, who was an amusing mess, tangled in the tent he had put up earlier in his front yard. Stan chuckled. "I thought I saw you put that thing up earlier."

"I did. It's this fucking...new ground!" Kenny accused.

Stan laughed again. "Right dude. Sure."

"Get up off your ass and help me!" Kenny roared, getting further and further entwined with each passing breath. He was barely visible to Stan now, who eventually sat up and moved over.

"Why, so I can get just as tangled up as you?" he asked, peeling back the part that covered Kenny's face.

With Stan's aid, the tent was up within a few minutes. Once it was, Stan went right back to staring at that damn lake again.

"Do you wanna go swimming or something?" Kenny asked. "What's with you and that lake? Did you and Kyle drown somebody?"

"Its far too cold to swim Kenny," Stan as a matter-of-factly. He failed to answer Kenny's next string of questions.

Kenny ignored Stan's somber attitude and plopped down on the seat beside Stan. They were sitting on a giant tree stump, cut down to the nub, and particularly suitable for two people. Kenny observed Stan's profile, waiting for a further response.

"When it's warm, it's a good lake to swim in." Stan informed him. "I've gone in it with Kyle before."

"Oh?" This statement peaked Kenny's interest. It was obviously a sore subject for Stan, and Kenny enjoyed poking and prodding for more. "Did you guys like..." he couldn't bring himself to say anything, "...it?"

Stan groaned. "No dude, of course not! Kyle doesn't do that...He likes girls. A lot. You know that."

Kenny nodded. "A whole lot, yeah...And that bugs you?"

Stan sighed.

"Gotcha." Kenny said. "No wonder I didn't get invited before. Heh..."Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kenny, no," he said, as if that explained everything. "It's not like that..."

"...Anymore?" Kenny assumed. He was intrigued at this newfound information about his two best friends. One, who he happened be sitting suspiciously close to.

Stan looked at Kenny without saying anything. In seconds, he averted his gaze to the lake again.

"It's cool." Kenny promised. "Tell me all about it."

Stan sighed once again. "We used to come up here. It was really cool. We even went swimming like I said...It was nice...After a while, I thought maybe..." He trailed off.

"Now was this swimming...without clothes?" Kenny asked, mostly for his own personal scene playing out in his head. He didn't want to admit to Stan that the thought of him and Kyle together was turning him on.

"Well, we didn't want to get anything wet..." Stan reasoned. He sighed. "Anyway, its not a big deal. He's my friend, and I'm completely over that anyway." Stan's words were truthful.

"Lucky bastard." Ken muttered, before speaking up a bit. "Sorry your crush didn't work out dude...Least you got to see him naked."

"Not a good thing when you want...that..." Stan said, thoroughly uncomfortable with the dramatic shift in direction their conversation had taken.

Kenny looked at Stan thoughtfully. "Did he ever know? About your feelings?"

"I never told him, but he probly figured it out." Stan shrugged. "He's made it pretty clear that he liked girls though, so I had to move on...Skinny dipping was kinda my way of...testing things."

"Not a bad idea." Ken admitted.

Stan shifted positions. The will to do the same trickery with Kenny crossed his mind, but quickly faded as he realized he had TOLD Kenny of this trickery. It'd be too obvious. Besides, he didn't want to act on his budding feelings too quickly--if ever. "So, what do you we do now?" he asked, instead.

Kenny's brain thought of a dirty response to the question. Stan's plan to seduce Kyle really was a good one, and Kenny knew this. Why else would he invite Stan to go camping out of the blue? Instead, he too decided not to push things.

"Well, seeing as how we don't have any clothes or food or anything, I say we go get some things."

"Dude, you didn't plan this out very much, did you," Stan teased. "We're out in the middle of fucking nowhere. Getting back to civilization is a waste of gas."

Kenny shrugged. "Guess we'll be wasting gas then, cause there ain't no fucking way I'm going without roasting me a marshmallow on a camp fire," he grumbled. "Without getting set on fire," he added.

"Fine." Stan agreed. "...At least you set up the tent okay."

"So where's the nearest place to buy shit?" Kenny asked eloquently.

Stan contemplated this for a second. "...Well, since I need clothes and stuff, the J-Mart by my house. Next time you should really tell me we're going camping first."

"Next time you should tell me we could camp up here instead."

Stan laughed. "Next time you should realize that by getting in your truck that means we're leaving your house and you should bring something other than a tent."

"Next time you should remind me." He smiled at Stan and reluctantly stood up from the tree stump. "Let's go."

Stan returned the smile, and for a brief second, finding is unnecessary to move from the very spot they were in. Why screw up a good thing? He shook his head and decided that food DID sound good. "Alright, I'll direct you back."

Thirty-two minutes later, they pulled up in front of Stan's house. "I'll be two seconds," he told Kenny, and dashed out of the truck to collect his clothing.


	3. Was Moses An Illusionist?

**Chapter 3**- Was Moses An Illusionist?

Meanwhile at the Broflovski house, Kyle was seated on the closed toilet lid in the bathroom, going over his notes for the next debate. His little brother was in the tub taking a bubble bath. Kyle "watched" him half-heartedly.

"Kyle, whatcha lookin at?" Ike said with the innocence of a little brother, the curiosity of a child.

Kyle nodded absently to Ike and furrowed his brows in concentration. He HAD to get Wendy on his side of this debate. He groaned. Manbearpig. Did they REALLY have to drag that shit out any longer?

Ike squeaked his rubber ducky and added some more bubble formula to his bath water.

How could Kyle get Wendy on his side? He asked himself this question over and over again. He had once gone camping to disprove Manbearpig's existence, but that was hardly a good enough argument.

"KYLLLE!" Ike squealed. He playfully splashed his brother, dousing his notes with water.

"Ike, you asshole!" Kyle screamed, forgetting who he was talking to. "You ruined my notes!" he cried as some of the paper went to immediate pulp in between his fingers. Suddenly he smiled. This meant he could call Wendy for some pointers. Better yet, he could maybe get together with her. After all, his brother _had_ ruined his notes.

"Thanks Ike," he finally said. "Don't drown," he commanded before leaving the room to get on the phone and dial Wendy. After all, this _was_ an emergency.

Two rings and a friendly girlish voice picked up. "Wendy?" Kyle asked eagerly.

"Kyle?" On the other end, a genuinely surprised Wendy made no effort to mask the suspicion in her voice.

"Um, yeah." he confirmed. "Listen, I have a huge problem with the debate coming up."

Wendy sighed. "I KNEW you wouldn't be able to live up to defending the utter ridiculousness of this made up creature!"

"Um...no...my little brother drenched my notes," Kyle explained, a bit taken aback, and a bit hurt. "Mind if I come over and you help me out?"

"...Oh." Wendy said, a bit embarrassed by her outburst and also a bit uncertain about Kyle's proposal. "I don't know Kyle...You can copy my notes if you want," she counter-offered instead.

Kyle went in, balls-deep. "What are you doing tonight?"

Wendy sucked some air through her teeth, already seeing that Kyle was unrelenting in his desire to see her. She went with an old female standby. "Washing my hair."

"That's something I never understood about girls," Kyle mused. "I mean, it doesn't take you HOURS to do that. So it's obviously a ploy to get the guy out of the picture. Because you don't think he'd press on after getting rejected like that, but you obviously overestimate me. What are you doing after that?"

"Studying," she admitted with a sigh. While Wendy admired Kyle's persistence and attention to logic, she still wasn't so sure about seeing him.

"So let me study with you."

"I'm...not...I mean...my appearance..." she began. But Kyle cut her off.

"Oh Wendy, stop your excuses. Come'on. I REALLY need this. I wouldn't DREAM of letting you down...on this club." He flashed her a cheesy grin that she obviously couldn't see.

She sighed into the phone. If Kyle really did need help, who was she to deny him it? That'd be mean, and Wendy Testaburger just wasn't that mean.

"Okay Kyle," she caved. "Come over at seven?"

"You can count on it," he assured her. He hung up the phone and glanced at his clock. That meant he had seventeen minutes to decide how he was going to wow his lady. He had quite a few tricks left up his sleeve, but he figured none of it would work on Wendy. He sighed. Stan was right, she MUST have had voodoo on him to drive him crazy. He nervously changed shirts a half-dozen times before heading over to Jmart to pick up some...extras.

Kyle pushed his J-Mart shopping cart over to the condom aisle. Obviously he didn't need a cart for those, but with it by his side he would appear to not be nearly as perverted.

Speaking of perverts, Kenny turned the corner with his own shopping cart in hand. His was at least actually filled with a few supplies.

At first registration of the blonde, Kyle shyed away, ducking his head and heading the opposite direction. He didn't want Kenny to know what he was doing...it was weird. The longer he stalled, the more he wondered what Kenny's plans were. He decided to show his face.

Kenny had noticed it a long time ago, but he was trying his best to remain hidden as well.Kenny continued to push his cart down the aisle, walking past the frozen Kyle, eyeing him cautiously. He stopped at the end of the aisle but didn't bother to turn left or right since he too needed some items from that section. He was hoping Kyle would pick up his items and be on his way, while Kyle hoped Kenny wound turn his cart and go somewhere else already.

Neither boy budged. To any outsider, their intentions were so completely obvious, they might as well just have reached for the condoms and screamed at their soon-to-be purchase. Still, Kenny was unyielding, and Kyle was growing impatient. Stan rounded the corner, but he pivoted immediately after noticing the silent duel.

Not caring to stall anymore, Kyle rammed his cart into the display case, knocking a few random packs of condoms to the floor. "Oops" he said quietly, before bending down to, naturally, clean up the mess he had made.

"Oh, let me help you!" Kenny chimed in, immediately rushing to Kyle's aid. He failed to see Stan's spying eyes from the aisle hallway next to them.

Kyle smiled politely at Kenny as he picked up the access packs, inconspicuously pocketing several for himself. He'd surely dump them out at the register--he wasn't a criminal.

Kenny certainly _was_ a criminal. Or at least he'd shoplifted a handful of times before. But, potentially getting busted for stealing condoms was a little too embarrassing. Kenny stuffed a few packs into his own pockets, with the intent to pay. Neither boy paid attention to what kind they'd actually grabbed, and placed the rest of them back on the shelf.

"I can be such a klutz sometimes," Kyle said through nervous laughter. He spied Stan behind Kenny's shoulder, but said nothing.

Stan had seen Kenny. Sure, he'd saw Kyle, but Kyle wasn't important at this time. He saw Kenny take his fair share, and he stood frozen at what this could mean. Perhaps it was cause Kenny didn't get to shop very often--he could quite possibly be stocking up for the winter. Either way, Kenny had condoms. Kenny had lots of condoms."Well, see ya." Kenny dismissed rather quickly. "I gotta go buy things. Other things. LOTS of other things!"

"Uh-huh" Kyle nodded. "Me too. S'why I have this cart here. To buy...food and stuff."

"Right! M-me too!"

"See ya."

Kenny steered in the opposite direction of Stan, practically RUNNING to the next aisle. He picked up the first thing he could grasp onto--shredded cheddar cheese--and watched the aisle like a hawk.

Kyle, meanwhile, strolled not-so-nonchalantly out of the aisle, whistling and nodding to Stan as he neared his shocked friend. "Hey Stan, what's up?"

"..." Stan blinked at his friend, his jaw dropped open.

"...What?" Kyle asked innocently, though he already thought he knew the reason for Stan's odd behavior. "Haven't you ever seen a person shop before?" he defended, grabbing at random produce.

Stan shook his head, clearing any Kenny-induced glaze he had been submersed in. "Dude, you're going over to see Wendy soon, aren'tcha."

Kyle stood uneasily. For some reason, it bothered him THIS time that his sex life was being broadcasted.

Stan gestured to the produce in Kyle's hand. "You don't need cumquats for that, dude." He looked to Kyle in mystery. "Unless...DUDE!"

"Will you shut the hell up!" Kyle snapped in as low a whisper as he could manage. A blush began forming on his face.

Stan brought his hands up beside his face, surrendering. "Whatever you do on your own time is your own business, Kyle."

Kyle's cheeks were as red as his hair. "What are YOU doing here anyway? Its Friday night...you are the last person I'd expect to see here."

It was Stan's turn to redden. "Uh...Kenny and I are here to pick up a few things."

"...Oh?" Kyle said, cocking his head to the side. "...Oh." He repeated with growing understanding. His blush deepened. "Well then...G-good for you..."

Stan felt the need to explain. "He wanted to go camping. I took him up to the place that...you know...we used to go."

"Yeah...It's a good place." Kyle admitted. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Stan chuckled nervously. "But the stupid guy didn't bring any supplies," he continued on with his explanation, but Kyle had tuned him out. His attention was focused on what Kenny and he were picking up earlier, and as if the pieces at all fit together, he heard a SNAP in his brain.

"Well, you two have fun," he said in all seriousness. He knew that Stan had liked that place a little bit better than he did, for reasons Stan never could seem to explain. Kyle just sort of figured it out later on.

"You too," Stan replied just as quickly, happy to have an out to this awkward conversation. He turned around and began walking away to finally give Kyle some peace.

"...Hey Stan?" he called out, also feeling the need to say something.

"Yeah?" he replied, turning only his head back to look at Kyle.

"...Well, I just want you to know that...All that stuff I said about you being..." He lowered his voice for the next word "...queer...I-I didn't...I mean...I-I don't...hate you or anything. Ya know?"

Stan stood motionless, as if registering the impact of such a simple statement. In it, though, Kyle had admitted that he DID know about Stan, that he wasn't just joking for no reason, that he knew that Stan had liked him, and that Stan was afraid that Kyle had stopped camping with him because of that very problem. AND that Stan now liked Kenny. LOADED statement. His shoulders released a five-year weight, and he sighed. "I know," was his simpler reply.

Kyle sighed in relief. "Okay, good...Well, see ya."

"Yeah, see ya."

The boys once again turned to go their separate ways, paused, and then turned their heads back once more.

"Let's never speak of this again." Kyle said.

"Deal." Stan agreed.

Kyle turned back around and headed for the cash register, dropping off the cumquats in the process. "Fuck it," he said aloud. He didn't care anymore whether his cart was sparse--he just wanted to get out of there. He dumped his pockets before reaching the register, and picked up a pack of gum...for good measure.

Kyle arrived at Wendy's, promptly at seven. She let him in and led him to her bedroom-and her work desk. Her notes for the debate were already laid out in neat little sections. "There you go," she offered, pulling out a chair for Kyle to sit on while he copied her work. Wendy, in the meantime, sat down on her bed and went back to reading a book.

Halfway through the first page, Kyle looked up to Wendy, as if he was studying her. He had brought his reading glasses along, and adjusted them on his face as he chewed the tip of his pen. "You didn't wash your hair," he noted aloud. As soon as he caught Wendy's attention and her baffled expression, he smiled, and continued to copy.

"I'll get to it,." she answered once she caught the drift of his statement. That was technically a lie, but she refused to be caught in it. She went back to her book, which she appeared to be about half-way through.

Kyle continued to watch her more than the notes. He observed the book she was reading. If there was one thing he'd learned from Eric Cartman through the years, it was learn about the person you're trying to persuade, screw, blackmail, befriend, or whatever.

"The Beneficial Gift of Being Psychic?" Kyle read the back cover in question. He looked to Wendy with raised eyebrows. "Don't tell me you actually BELIEVE in that shit, Wendy."

Again, Wendy's attention drifted to Kyle, who sat so innocently at her desk, she had a hard time not breaking into a girly "awwww". Instead, she looked back with firm eyes, as if saying, "so what if I do?"

"That stuff's a buncha crap." Kyle continued.

Wendy shrugged. "According to whom? The people who don't believe in it?"

"According to logic. People can't tell the future and stuff. If they could, they'd be put to use by the government or something."

"They probably ARE working for the government. Some of them at least," Wendy reasoned. "You know, there are a lot of branches in it that the public can't even fathom."

"Yeah, I know, AREA 51 and etc. That doesn't mean they've got psychics working for them. If that's the case, WWII could have been avoided."

"Maybe they didn't know about them back then!" Wendy snapped.

"Well, I say they aren't true."

"Well that's your opinion, but it's not fact. For a phenomenon like that to have lasted this long, there has to be at least some truth to it."

"It's only lasted that long because poor schmucks like you fall for it!" Kyle yelled. He blinked, recalling as he, too, had fallen for it before. He smiled. Wendy had so much more in common with him than what he even knew.

"So if they aren't psychics, what are they?" she asked.

"Magicians. Tricksters. They don't really have powers."

"Hm. What about Moses?"

Kyle blinked. "What about him?"

"Who's to say he's not an 'illusionist' too? If it's impossible for psychics to have powers, maybe it was impossible for the religious figures also."

"Th...that's different," Kyle said, unsure and stumbling. "They're, like, from the bible. You don't argue with fact."

Wendy snorted. "Fact," she repeated, obviously not convinced. "Kyle..."

Kyle looked at her in anticipation for a religious lecture.

"Get back to work," she ordered.

The boy breathed a small sigh of relief that they weren't about to get into a religious discussion. Religion and politics were the two subjects to avoid, since they were the two most likely to divide individuals. Kyle would much rather focus on his and Wendy's similarities. Like debating.

"Why?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"Why should I get back to work?"

"Because that's what you came over here for," Wendy announced, proud of her ability to shut Kyle up. But he was far from being shut up.

"Actually, I came over to see you," he replied, shoving his pride down his throat.

Wendy picked up her book again and opened it, if only to try and hide the grin growing on her face from Kyle's statement. "Well now you've seen me," she held firmly. "But you still have to take notes."

Kyle groaned loudly. "You sound like a teacher." He waited for her response, but she stood firmly, like a rock. He finally gave in, letting out an exaggerated sigh and turning once more to finish copying the notes. He made extra sure to forget some so that he would have to come back at a later date. They were so sloppy he could barely make out any eligible letters.

Wendy flipped a few pages in her book, but she was unable to focus on the words. Kyle's words, and his actions, were far more interesting to her at the moment. She once again let the bookmark hold her place as she closed the bookends and caught Kyle's attention herself.

"...Are you actually taking notes over there?" she questioned. She stood up and walked over to Kyle to see for herself.

Kyle quickly scrambled his papers together, outstretching his arms over them in protection. He peered up to Wendy with big dough eyes. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Kyle, if you're even doodling when you're supposed to be working, I will kick you out of my room faster than you can say 'what the-'".

"Well I am working. But I'm also taking my own notes."

"Well you're seeing mine. Why can't I see yours?"

"Because mine are poisoned with a rare blood found only in psychics," Kyle explained while grinning.

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Get out of my room then."

"Christ, I'm kidding. Here!" he offered, showing her a select page of notes. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her bedroom. At least yet. "God, now you're checking up on me?"

"And what's wrong with that?"

Kyle swiveled around in his chair and stood up so that he was less than a foot away from her. "Are they of an acceptable quality, ma'am?" he asked, with coated sarcasm.

Wendy raised her eyebrows at the boy staring her down, and pretended to study them. "They'll have to do. For a boy." She threw them back at his chest. "They really are quite pathetic, SIR."

"For a boy? That has nothing to do with it!"

"What's your problem, anyway?" Wendy wondered out loud.

"My problem? My PROBLEM!" Kyle repeated, getting up in her face. "I don't HAVE a problem!"

Wendy accepted his hostile stance and returned one of her own. "You have a goal in mind, Kyle Broflovski. I see it. In your eyes."

Kyle feigned an innocent puppy dog look.

"And in your pockets," Wendy continued. "Don't THINK I haven't seen the circular outline of a you-know-what in it!"

Kyle was about to spit more venom back at her, but paused upon taking in her words. "...A you-know-what?" he repeated, slightly amused. "Dude, you ARE being a teacher."

"Stop saying that!" she snapped. "You come over here with your goal in mind, you call me a 'teacher' when I make you do what you're supposed to be doing, and you take crappy notes because your focus is only one thing. One thing that I won't give you, because you aren't here for that. Which frustrates you and makes you insult me, which makes me not want to even THINK about giving you what you're really here for...And THAT'S why being a boy matters in this case! JERK!" she closed.

Kyle's mouth, still wide open, formed a smile. He took one step back, closed his mouth, and brought his hands up to his chest. He stood in admiration at the pair of angered eyes in front of him. He began clapping. "Bravo, Wendy, bravo," he applauded.

Wendy was absolutely so flabbergasted, her eyes failed to blink.

"You're right." he admitted. "My mind's on one thing, and I'm pissed off I'm not getting it. So I'm lashing out at the person not giving it to me. It's wrong, you're right, and I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

"...That's...That's not fair!" she argued, putting her hands on her hips with softening anger. "You can't just agree with me!"

"Sure I can. You just wanna stay mad, and you can't when I admit you're right."

"I...can SO!" Wendy weakily retorted. She leaned in forward to Kyle, staring right up into his apologetic stare. "You can't just...abandon your defense! What kind of debater are you?"

Kyle grinned at how close Wendy was. He could smell her hair. "A damn good one."

"Your tact is disgraceful."

"Yet endearing," Kyle offered. He bravely took one more step forward so that Wendy's lips were within reach.

Wendy growled slightly, her eyes melting as she stared into Kyle's. He was right once again. He was a good debater. An unorthodox one, but a good one. She valued intelligence, and his honest and persistence were nice qualities too. Finally giving in, Wendy leaned her own face forward a bit, pressing her lips to Kyle's. It would, hopefully, call a ceasefire to the very, very heated debate.

---

"Turn right here," Stan instructed, as Kenny's pathetic truck made its second trip that night to the secluded camp site. The whole ride back up into the mountains had been silent except for Stan's occasional directions. He was too busy thinking about what else Kenny had bought. He pretended to be leafing through a magazine as Kenny purchased his...items...at the register.

Kenny turned right as Stan had instructed. It was hard as hell seeing at night, but luckily they were in the mountains. The worst that could happen was...Well, Kenny didn't want to think about that. Not that he hadn't fallen off a mountain or two in his life, but this time he had Stan with him. He hoped that Death would at least leave him alone when he had some innocent company by his side.

Luckily for Kenny, they made it back to the camp site in one piece. As soon as the truck came to a rolling stop, he shut the engine off and unstrapped his seat belt. He turned to Stan and raised his eyebrows, grinning at the seemingly nervous boy. Almost immediately, he jumped out of the truck and grabbed the plastic bags of supplies from out of the truck bed. "Lets do this," he said.

Stan grabbed a few bags himself, helping Kenny set up. "'Kay," he replied in a tone of voice cracking with nerves.

Kenny walked over to where he had begun building a fire before. He knelt down and began searching through his purchases until he found a starter log and a lighter. He tore up the newspaper he had grabbed when leaving, and set fire to its corner. Through the corner of his eye, he watched Stan face the lake again and stretch . Kenny shook his head. Cold or not, he was going to get Stan in that lake.

"It'll be a while." Kenny announced as he attempted to fan the flames of their campfire.

"That's cool." Stan said absentmindedly, still looking off into the lake.

Kenny rolled his eyes at the boy's behavior. His eyes were already glued on Stan's body anyway, but Kenny felt it would've been nice if Stanley was more interested in him than the lake at the moment.

"We'll have to do something in the meantime." Kenny said again.

Stan shook his head and blinked his eyes, as if ridding some unknown thought. He turned to Kenny with clear blue eyes. "What'd you have in mind?" When he smiled, Kenny stopped fanning the fire and just absorbed the toothy grin of his friend.

"Wanna swim?" Ken offered, unable to help but return Stan's smile now that he had successfully captured the boy's attention.

"Oh." Stan blinked. That wasn't the answer he was expecting. It was along the same lines of what he thought Kenny would say, but Stan had already warned his friend about the temperature of the water. "It's pretty cold, dude," he reminded him.

Kenny inhaled sharply. "Yeah..." he turned his attention to the lake, and then once more back to Stan. "I'll bet we can stay warm."

Stan nervously shuffled his feet in response to the statement. He looked to the lake, then back to Kenny. "I uh...I-I don't have a bathing suit." Stan announced sheepishly.

"That's apparently never stopped you before," Kenny reminded him, his own grin growing wider. "I don't either." he said.

"Kenny...I..." Stan sputtered.

Kenny sighed. Maybe he had the wrong idea about Stan. But there was something that told him to keep pressing on. Stan just had to be nervous. That's all. He continued. "Look, how often do we get to take a swim in a mountain lake?" He stood up and walked hastily over to Stan. "Where's your sense of ADVENTURE?"

Stan bit his bottom lip in contemplation. He DID like adventuring, which Kenny knew, and it had been a while since he'd gone on one. He suspected Kenny knew that as well. The idea of risking pneumonia only to get out of the cold lake and run naked to a warm fire sure was tempting.

"Stan, it's your choice." Kenny said. "You can either spend this trip thinking about memories of Kyle, or you can have fun with me and make new memories."

"I wasn't thinking about memories of Kyle, Ken," Stan answered all-too-quickly. He failed to tell Kenny what he was REALLY thinking of.

Kenny frowned. His approach wasn't working...he needed to try something else. He approached Stan even closer, and stared at the dazed boy. "Well, if you need me, you know where I'll be." And he took off running toward the lake, peeling off his shirt.

Stan had to admit, Kenny sure did make it look fun. He tried to look away as Kenny took off more and more clothing, but he couldn't help glancing back every now and then at his blond friend...Because what Kenny was doing looked like fun.

...Yeah, that was it.

"Hey Ken, wait up!" he screamed, unable to contain his anxiety any longer. He took off in a full sprint, almost sailing past Kenny as he too stripped off every piece of clothing covering him. He stopped only when he splashed his feet into the brisk water. He looked around and found no Kenny before him. He turned his head to find Kenny behind him, stopped just at the water's edge.

"...What're you waiting for?" Stan asked.

"Dude, that water's fucking COLD!" Kenny said with much surprise in his voice.

"What! Yeah I told you that!" Stan argued, embarrassed that he seemed to be the only one going along with the plan now.

Kenny curled his toes in the sandy brush. "Well its just that..." his cheeks flushed,"...being cold makes stuff...shrink..."

Stan rolled his eyes. "Ken, where's your sense of _adventure_?"

"I KNEW you were going to throw that back on me," Kenny muttered, crossing his arms to his chest.

"Just come on!" Stan ordered. "I'm not gonna freeze my ass off alone out here!"

Kenny sighed and continued removing his clothes. "Okay fine...Just keep in mind that it's cold."

"Like it won't be...cold for me?" Now Stan felt his cheeks heating up due to the nature of the conversation. "Just get in!" he repeated, embarrassed.

Kenny made sure to splash up a mountain when entering so that Stan couldn't see the initial contact of his...skin with the water. This of course earned an "aw dude!" from Stan as he shielded his face from the chilled water droplets hitting his face.

"SHIT its cold!" Kenny yelped, trying desperately to hide his lower body, only to discover that the lake was about three feet deep around him.

"I know, I know," Stan replied. "So stop splashing the water," he suggested, his back turned so that Kenny too couldn't see the effect the water had on his body.

Kenny squirmed, finding a comfortable position where he could drop to his knees.

Stan took a few steps and turned around. The water came up to his abdomen, and his water-soaked body glistened in the moonlight. "Come out here. It's deeper, you don't have to crouch."

Slowly adjusting to the temperature, and wanting to be closer to Stan's quite attractive nude body regardless of the cold, Kenny stepped forward in the water.

"There you go." Stan said with another smile. He too was now becoming comfortable with this idea. Partially because the water level was higher than his privates, and partially because of Kenny.

Kenny nodded his head in approval and smiled, taking a look around at the desolate location and deep, almost black sky. "Not too bad!" he said, as he leaned back against his arms, which were now above his head. He started kicking, splashing water once again.

"Awww, dude!" Stan scolded. He swam over and grabbed onto Kenny's feet, pushing them under. "I told you not to splash."

Kenny laughed slightly. Stan's whining was cute. The idea that he could be tough and controlling was even more amusing to Kenny.

"I mean it dude. That's not cool."

Kenny kicked his feet back to the bottom, immediately pulling his body upright. He stared Stan straight in the eye. "Sorry, man." He lingered in the same position just long enough to flash an apologetic grin, and to gain notice of that grin from Stan, before he leaned back onto his hands again.

"S'okay." Stan replied. "It's not so bad now," he admitted.

After awhile, Stan took the cue from Kenny and leaned back on his arms himself. He gazed meaningfully into the endless sky, thinking about his life. He had to admit, he DID miss his swims with Kyle out there...but with Kenny, there was this element of mystery. He knew Kyle like the back of his hand...Kenny was unpredictable.

As he thought just that, he received a mouthful of water. He turned his neck to see Kenny sitting, pleased with himself for providing such a big splash.

"You'd better cut that out!" Stan warned with his eyebrows raised.

"Or what?" Ken questioned. "You gonna punish me?"

Stan glared--as much as you can possibly glare at someone you secretly want to jump--and resumed his soul-searching quest.

"Aw, your no fun," Kenny said, kicking steadily up so that he was side by side with Stan. He observed Stan for a few moments. Then, without warning, he reached up and dunked Stan's head under water. This caused Stan's back to arch and, well, his lower body to surface.

Stan protested from under the water, trying to reach up and swat Kenny away. Ken took the opportunity to look over Stan's wet lower half. Even when factoring in the shrinkage, Stan looked like he had much to offer. Ken became so focused on Stanley's crotch region, he briefly forgot that he was holding his potential mate under water. A splash from Stan's hand reminded Kenny to ease up, which he did

When Stan resurfaced, he growled through clenched teeth, playfully. He dove for Kenny's face, missing completely, and only succeeding in falling into the water behind Ken, belly first. Kenny bust out in laughter, but made sure to meet Stan up close when he came up for air.

"Aww, you're all wet." Kenny observed with mock concern.

"Duh"

"Such a pity. This water IS rather cold."

Stan smirked. "I know you want to join me."

Kenny shrugged. "Nah, I'm cool. Think my legs are numb enough."

"You wanna get out?" Stan offered. "The fire's going now."

Kenny looked over to the bright, engulfing flames. It was REALLY going. A little too close to the tent for his comfort, he noted. "Yeah, that sounds like a plan." He gestured an "after you" to Stan, who accepted the invitation. Close to the shore, however, Kenny ran up and kicked Stan's knees behind him, and he came crashing down. Kenny turned around to point and laugh and then jogged to the campfire.

Stan got up, dusted himself off, and raised his middle finger in Kenny's direction as he walked toward the fire, still dripping wet. He sighed in relief as he felt the heat nearing his body. He suspected Kenny was enjoying the warmth as well.

"Saved you a seat, slowpoke," Kenny said, offering the other half of a horizontal log that appeared to be smoothed down and placed there specifically for the fire pit. Kenny was knelt down a bit in front of it, shadows covering up most of his body.

Stan mouthed a sarcastic "thanks" and took the offered seat.

They sat there in silence a few moments, drying off and enjoying the warmth of the fire. More than that, they were enjoying the secluded area around them. They were sitting here, their totally nude rumps resting on a log with no one around but each other, and it felt rather good. The freedom, the mountain air, and especially the thrill of being somewhat bad.

"What kind of food did you buy?" Stan asked, curiously peering over Kenny's shoulder at the bag he held between his legs.

He clamped his legs shut and narrowed his eyes at Stan. "No peeking." He was referring to something other than his bag of food.

"You wish." he muttered. "Did you bring marshmallows?" he asked more audibly.

"Mm-hmm." Ken confirmed. He reached into the bag and rummaged around a bit.

Stan leaned over again. "Good. Cause if you didn't bring those fucking marshmallows, you'd have to deal without them."

"Or go back down and get them," Kenny replied. He grabbed the bag and brought it to his face and smiled. "But it doesn't matter. Here they are." He tore open the bag. "Mallow?"

"We gotta roast them, stupid." Stan reminded him, keeping his own legs closed as the growing fire caused more light to illuminate his body.

Kenny looked quizzically at the bag and then plunged his hand straight in. He dumped the contents of a few marshmallows into his mouth, chewed a bit, and smiled at Stan, revealing a creamy white paste.

Stan chuckled. "You're sick, dude." He reached into the bag and took one out for himself.

"Yeah, but in a good way." Kenny replied.

Stan nodded in agreement, and placed his marshmallow on a stick. Once it was toasted a bit, Stanley slowly inched the stick close to his mouth, licking up the warm white goo at the tip.

Suddenly, Kenny felt the shrinkage go away.

Kenny sat, mesmerized. "You're...good…at that," he said, quickly scolding himself for voicing his thoughts aloud.

"At eating?" Stan chuckled. "Thanks?"

"Heh...Yeah..."

"Give me another one," Stan demanded, licking the sticky mess off of his fingers and smacking his lips together.

Kenny possessed the bag and leaned away from Stan. "Nu-uh," he replied.

"No?" Stan glared slightly. "Why not? Come on dude, stop being a prick." he said, referencing the incidents in the pool that he assumed Kenny was continuing now that they were back on dry land.

"I'm not being a pr-" Kenny began.

He was caught off-guard at Stan's strong arm lunging for the bag...accidentally slipping and scraping the inside of Kenny's thigh instead. Stan's face went as white as the marshmallows as he resumed a straight-back position, refusing to look at Kenny. "S..sorry," he mumbled.

"S'okay." Kenny assured, smiling weakly. He made sure to keep the bag between his legs, so that Stan wouldn't know just how very okay it was with his groin.

Stan turned away from Kenny even further, pretending to stare at the fire so that he too could hide his shame. Not that he had anything to be ashamed about when they weren't in the water.

"...I-I guess we should get dressed again." Stan said

"Oh...are you dry?" Kenny asked, hoping the answer would be "no." Sadly, Stan nodded and, without much other conversation, he stepped behind the log and around to search for his clothes. Kenny memorized the curves and indentions in Stan's ass as he walked back out to the pond, retrieving stray articles of clothing. He sighed in satisfaction as Stan bent over to gather it all. "Thank God for the moonlight," Kenny thought.

Deciding to hide his own growing erection, which was now almost at full-mast thanks to the view of Stan's backside, Kenny looked around for his own pants. He sighed as he felt the condoms in his pants pocket, thinking to himself that it would only be a matter of time.

Stan could feel Kenny's eyes on him as he searched in the dark for his scattered clothes. The scene in Jmart kept flashing through his mind, and he wondered, just when, exactly, did Kenny plan to use his purchase? He took a deep breath as he slipped on his boxers and headed back to the warmth of the fire.


	4. How Old Is Too Old To Have A Childhood C

**Chapter 4**- How Old Is Too Old To Have A Childhood Companion?

"I'd also like to point out that, for Manbearpig to be real, he would have to have had parents. And, as we all know, human DNA cannot splice with that of both a pig and a bear. Thank you."

Kyle stepped down from the podium, earning his team yet another point. Wendy briefly smiled at him, impressed with his idea to bring up unproven birth parents. Clearly Kyle had regained his focus, at least for the time being, on debating.

Kyle took a seat next to Wendy, unable to hide his smug grin. He TOO knew he had impressed Wendy. After all, that WAS the whole idea of joining the club.

"Those were some good points to bring up, Kyle," Wendy whispered in his ear, placing a hand on his thigh. She also knew the reason he joined that club...and she enjoyed toying with that reason very, very, VERY much.

"Thanks," he replied, mentally noting the placement of her hand. As the other side of the debate got up to speak, Kyle decided to show that teasing little vixen that he could play her little game too. He went over his next notes with one hand, while his other began brushing HER thigh underneath the table, drawing a surprised gasp out of Wendy.

"Which point should I go with next?" Kyle asked. He pushed the notes toward her a bit to see, giving him the excuse he needed to touch her in the same manner she was touching him.

"Oh, um..." Wendy shook her head to clear it. She didn't like the thoughts running through her own mind. This was DEBATE club, not SEX ED. She needed to FOCUS...on something other than Kyle's hand. That just laid there, gently moving its thumb back and forth. So softly. So..."I don't know, you decide!" she breathed.

Kyle gave her a weird look, removing his hand to pick up more notes.

With Kyle's hand gone, Wendy decided to take back hers as well. If she couldn't focus, he surely couldn't either. That was a bad thing, especially considering they were the smartest two people on their team.

"Santa, Jesus, and Scuzzlebutt have all been proven real," the other side concluded. "ALL have been found living in this town. With all of that proven true, who's to say Manbearpig doesn't live here as well? Is it really that unlikely?"

Kyle rolled his eyes. A lot of things were proven true in his town. Manbearpig was NOT. They had been looking for him for...close to ten years now.

"Who's to say he doesn't have a cabin in the woods somewhere?" the team captain continued. "Or he has a magical box that he presses when he wants to escape? It's possible!"

Sadly, the kid had a point. Everything he was saying made sense to the citizens of South Park. Kyle leaned over to Wendy once more. "This kid is just making shit up now. We've got 'em right where we want him," he assured her, revealing his most killer smile.

Wendy smiled without looking at Kyle, but rather throwing the speaker off by appearing very interested in what he had to say.

"And another thing...Uh..." The speaker stammered momentarily, noticing a member of the opposing side smiling at him. He feared some consequences were coming. Not only did he notice Wendy's smile, but Kyle did too. He especially noticed how it was directed at that guy, and not at himself. He wondered if this was a ploy to make him jealous on Wendy's part, a head game to win the debate for their side, or possibly both. Maybe this kid would fall under Wendy's enchanting spell like Kyle had seemingly done, and Stan had done before him? Kyle still wondered how that girl did it.

He didn't have time to think long however, as he was called back up to the podium to make his next point.

"Many things in this town have been proven, but many also haven't," he pointed out. "The yeti, the Easter bunny, and cupid for instance." He made sure to glance back over at Wendy while mentioning the God of love. He continued. "Saying something COULD exist is no reason to automatically believe it does."

He glanced briefly at his notes, and once more at his love interest. She sent him a reassuring smile that warmed him from head to toe. "Furthermore, Manbearpig -has- never been seen. How can something that's only been alive through word of mouth even be suggested to be real? There is no real evidence to prove his existence, there is no one brave enough to search it out. People are content with spreading stories about it, much like a tall tale." He shifted positions on the podium. "Just the other day I heard a woman telling a man at the grocery store how her son had woken up with Manbearpig marks on his skin, and the man went into this whole story about how Manbearpig feasts on his prey late at night." Kyle looked to the other team and narrowed his eyes. "It's ALL a tall tale. A fable!"

Kyle left the podium again. The new points were attributed to the teams, and they were still a bit too close for Kyle and Wendy's liking. The other side got up again, and basically said that Manbearpig couldn't factually be DISPROVEN by their opponents. Of course that also meant that he couldn't be PROVEN by their side either, but of course they weren't going to focus on that half of the logic. Their team was running out of facts, and was now reduced to complete and total rhetoric. Sure enough though, some stupid mountain folks were still buying into it.

Growing bored of listening to the other side BS, Wendy's thoughts once again turned to Kyle. She thought about the other day in her room. She thought about how he had succeeded at impressing her. Even at making her want him a little. And yet, she still hadn't given Kyle everything he wanted. They both knew that, yet Kyle was still around. He was still in the debate club. He was even still talking to her after she stopped him short that night. A lesser man might have given up right then and there. She wondered if he was just that persistent, or if, perhaps, his feelings for her were growing a bit more genuine.

"No," she thought to herself. "This is Kyle. You know his reputation with women." She shook her head once again to clear it of thought.

As if he heard his name, Kyle turned to her at that exact moment and reached for her hand. She happily accepted his, and she felt it squeeze hers tightly. It was as though they were in this together--they had been, and that's the way it would always be. She shuddered at this thought. Kyle wasn't in this for long. Probably another week, he'd dip out, having grown tired of the chase.

That was why Wendy made up her mind, right then and there, to NEVER give into Kyle. If he wanted to be with her, and his intentions were truly honorable, then he would be able to withstand her ability to tease him until he was driven insane. She knew precisely how to do JUST that. She squeezed his hand back and prayed for the lame debate to finish up.

As luck would have it, the lame debate DID finish up shortly thereafter. This was probably Kyle's reason-or at least one of his many reasons-for holding Wendy's hand. They WERE in the debate together. They'd worked harder than the rest of their team on the subject, and the victory or defeat was about to be handed to them after all of their hard work.

After tallying the points, the official of the debate made the announcement. "The South Park team wins."

Applause followed, and more smiles formed on Kyle and Wendy's respective lips. "We should celebrate," Kyle whispered to her.

Wendy forced her hand out to Kyle for a handshake out of pure habit. "Congratulations," she said, almost routinely, completely ignoring his suggestion. He looked at her, perplexed by this gesture, and forced her into a hug. Wendy was surprisingly caught off-guard, but settled into the embrace and whispered back, "your place or mine?"

Kyle's eyes lit up. Perhaps Wendy didn't mean what she said, but nonetheless, he felt excitement deep within his stomach, and other regions as well. Wendy pulled back with a look of horror on her face. She clearly didn't mean it that way, and Kyle couldn't help but bust out laughing at her expression.

She returned the laughter, a bit more nervously than Kyle.

"Mine," he offered. He had already been to her house. Now it was her turn to see the inside of his bedroom...Hopefully.

---

Wendy stepped out of the passenger side door of Kyle's car. She felt a chill overcome her, and she crossed her arms in front of her. "I've never been in your room before, Kyle," Wendy informed him as he turned the key to his house. She automatically knew he would want to take her there.

"Then this'll be the first time," Kyle replied, just as expected.

She sighed. "I suppose there's a first time for everything." she reasoned, well aware of the double-meaning in her words. She suspected Kyle was just as aware of her wordplay, and he was probably eager to see if she meant her words literally or not.

"You wanna drink or something?" Kyle politely offered as they entered his house and removed their shoes. Wendy took a seat on the living room couch.

"Water will be fine," Wendy answered, wanting her request to be for something pure, like her. She couldn't give Kyle the wrong idea. She couldn't, she couldn't, she couldn't...

"Sorry, we're fresh out," Kyle said, snickering. After receiving a puzzled look from Wendy, he tossed her a water bottle from the fridge.

"Thanks," she said.

Kyle opted to join her on the couch. The fact that she chose to sit there immediately upon entering the house suggested that she wasn't yet ready for the trek up to his room. He hoped he could ease her into it and change her mind.

"So this is my living room," Kyle said, unsure of how to actually GET her upstairs, short of saying "come upstairs." Wendy was a fine and delicate creature, one that he needed to seriously contemplate how to win over. "Nothing special."

"No, its nice," Wendy decided, looking around while keeping firm hold of her water.

"If you want to, you can stay for dinner," he said casually, hoping she would accept. This would give him plenty of time to get her upstairs, even after his parents got home. Though, preferably, he'd like to get her onto his bed before that.

"Oh...well, only if it's alright with your family. I wouldn't want to impose," Wendy accepted.

"Pssh, whatever. My mom LOVES company. Girl company makes her squeal and act like a girl herself," Kyle replied.

"Your mom IS a girl."

"You know what I mean." He dared to scoot a bit closer to her on the couch.

"I suppose," she replied, sipping her water.

Wendy spied a portrait of Kyle's family above the TV. She squinted hard, and saw that Kyle must have been only ten or eleven at the time...his awkward stage. His hair was stringy and poofy, and his teeth were covered in metal. "Nice picture," she said casually.

"I hate it," he replied. "You're lucky. You come from a small family. You never had to do the portrait thing."

Wendy raised her eyebrows at this comment. "Have you SEEN our living room? My mom insisted we have one for just me, her, and dad EVERY single year. Her way to document my embarrassment."

"I'm sure you looked beautiful through it all." He sighed, not wanting to talk about his less-than-adequate stage of life.

She smiled at his comment. She sensed it was partially a pickup line, but Kyle DID have a bit of a real reason to be embarrassed at that particular photo.

"We all go through phases," she reminded him. "And all of our parents have at least one embarrassing picture of us on hand to prove it."

"Try an entire photo album. Marked 'Buhbie's Passage Into Manhood'."

Wendy's eyes lit up. "I simply HAVE to see that album!" she squealed sarcastically, making Kyle think she was one of THOSE girls...the ones who enjoyed embarrassing the hell out of her boyfriend.

"Yes!" Kyle thought to himself. He'd found his necessary segue. "It's probably upstairs in our attic or something."

"Um...well actually, Kyle, I was just kiddin-"

"NONSENSE!" Kyle assured her. "Let's try to find it. Upstairs."

Wendy eyed him suspiciously. "Why don't you bring it down to me once you find it?"

"And leave you sitting here all alone and bored? What kind of host would I be then?"

"One who's tending to the guest's wants and needs." Uh oh, Wendy thought. That didn't come out right either.

Kyle shrugged. "It'll give you a chance to see the rest of the house," he argued. "...I could even show you -my- study area." he tempted.

"Which is in your bedroom, right?" Wendy guessed. She was no fool.

"Well, yeah."

Wendy shrugged. "Why not," she replied, much to Kyle's delight. It had been easier than he thought!

Kyle took her hand and led her upstairs, trying not to be too quick about his movements. He took her on the obligatory tour of the rest of the upstairs area, saving his room for last so he wouldn't appear too eager. He really did have a study area set up in there, as it turned out.

"And last, but not least," he announced with great pride, "my...STUDY area!" He swung the door open and stepped aside for Wendy to pass. She took one step into the room and looked around. Kyle's room was very much the typical boy room. Sparse with only necessities, and posters covering the otherwise white walls. In the corner was his desk, complete with a computer and some file trays. The file trays were labeled, according to the class and period he was in. Wendy turned to him. "You organize your homework? And I thought _I_ was a nerd..."

Kyle shrugged. "It's better than reaching for random papers."

Wendy cautiously entered the room further, daring not to have another seat on his bed. She had to admit, he was certainly organized. Still, he didn't bring her in here to see a study area. They both knew that.

"So..." Kyle smiled as he closed the bedroom door behind them, walking closer to Wendy.

Wendy turned to face him. He inched closer and closer until he reached out to her sides and pulled her in. "So..." she repeated. She wouldn't make the first move. Wendy Testaburger would never make the first move on Kyle Broflovski.

Even though she technically already did, the night before in her own bedroom.

Kyle leaned inward, placing a small kiss on her cheek. He still believed in easing her into the idea slowly. His lips traveled down that same cheek until he reached her lips, sharing only his second lip lock with the girl. His hands gently rubbed at her sides.

Wendy sighed, becoming lost in the loving pecks. Her lips reluctantly pressed back to his, as her hands snaked around his neck.

Kyle repositioned his arms so that they were wrapped around Wendy's entire torso. He deepened their kiss and he felt her hands push him in closer. Without a thought in his head, he automatically picked his feet up to guide her in the direction of his bed.

Wendy groaned through their locked lips. It was a mixture of pleasure and frustration at his continued ability to try and get her in the sack. She was perfectly fine kissing for a bit longer, but obviously it was Kyle's instinct to treat her like he had other girls once they got going physically. She initially resisted his push toward the bed, but upon fighting back she discovered it only caused their crotches to rub together and their legs to become entwined as they each pushed for supremacy toward or away from the mattress. Wendy finally gave in and allowed herself to be moved back, at least for now. No sense working yourselves up even more for something that she knew wouldn't be happening in the end.

They fell back on the bed, almost aggressively, and with a bounce. Wendy, feeling a spring under her that didn't set well, arched her back to get comfortable. This caused Kyle to practically double over in extreme arousal. He pressed his entire body into Wendy's, unable to fight his carnal instinct. He opened his mouth and jammed his tongue into hers. If he wasn't so eager, Wendy thought, he'd be one hell of a kisser. But his force HAD to stop, and so Wendy pushed him up with one hand on his chest. She collected herself and sat up on the bed, staring at the drooling boy.

"I don't think the album's in here," she teased with a smirk.

"...Album?" Kyle blinked, trying to remember what the hell she was talking about. "...Oh!" he finally said as a bit of blood returned to his brain. "Heh. Yeah well, we'll find it later huh?"

Wendy didn't have time to answer as Kyle lunged toward her once again, this time unsuccessfully. She turned her head just in time so that his lips touched her hair, and then he pulled back. Her eyes caught glimpse of something hidden beneath his pillow. It looked like a stretched out cotton ball. She pushed Kyle off of her body to retrieve the object, yanked at the end, and pulled it out of its resting place. "What's this?" she inquired at the pathetic cloth that had more holes than fabric.

Kyle sighed, not wanting to get off of the current subject their bodies were on. "It's Blankie" he explained.

"...Blankie?" she repeated, holding in a laugh.

"...I-I mean it's my blanket. Can we just-"

"It looks so old." she observed, fully distracting him from his current mission. "You kept your blanket from childhood? Aww!"

Kyle sighed. "God dammit."

Wendy smiled. "So...Blankie...is it's name?"

Kyle could feel his cheeks redden. In one swift move, he stole Blankie from Wendy's hands and stuffed it back under the pillow. "Just leave _him_ be," he muttered.

Wendy laughed and went for Blankie again. "Now, Kyle, that's no way to treat your childhood companion!"

Kyle's hand slapped against his forehead. "This really isn't the time for this."

"We're on your bed. It's the perfect time." she argued. "So, Blankie is a boy?"

"...Yes..." He rolled over on his side, already losing his erection.

"Do you LIKE sleeping with boys?" Wendy giggled.

"_WHAT?_!_"_ Kyle screamed. "How the hell do you even thin-"

"Because Blankie is a boy," Wendy reasoned. She smiled and waved Blankie around. "Kyle, is there something you're not telling me?"

"Wendy."

"Kyle."

Kyle sighed. "He can't be a girl."

"Why not?"

"Because he used to be blue."

"He's old, isn't he?"

"Yeah."

She laughed again. "Why do you still have him?"

"It's just sentimental value! Come on, didn't you have something like this growing up?"

"Yeah. I threw it away when I grew up," she counterattacked. She glanced down at the shredded fabric between her fingers.

"Blankie means more than just a stupid childhood blanket!" Kyle huffed.

"Oh," Wendy said through stifled laughter. She couldn't admit it to him, but Kyle's protective stance over his Blankie was just about the cutest thing she'd ever seen. She decided to quit torturing him. She shrugged and tossed Blankie on the floor.

"Dude, don't do that!" Kyle squealed, scrambling to pick up Blankie off the floor.

"Oh, sorry." she said as sincerely apologetic as she could manage. "...Is he a member of the family?"

"No! Dude, Wendy I'm not psycho. He doesn't...He doesn't eat dinner with us or anything. He just hangs out here. I was gonna give him to my stupid brother a few years ago but...I just couldn't."

Wendy observed Kyle and the way he neatly placed his Blankie underneath the pillow, smoothed the pillow, and then sat up and folded his hands. He looked embarrassed beyond repair. Wendy stuck out her bottom lip and sucked in her pride. She leaned over and placed her hands on each of Kyle's cheeks, bringing his face to hers once more.

He felt a brief sense of relief as she kissed him again, his embarrassment fading as he kissed back. This time it was Wendy's turn to insert her tongue into his mouth, teaching him first hand how it was supposed to be done. He moaned and she pulled away again, smiling at him.

"So…about this photo album…" she began.

---

Later that afternoon, Stan and Kenny awoke in their tent. Birds were chirping and the sun was shining. Their homoerotic fire from the night before was out. Stan awoke first, yawning.

"Whoa, dude!' he exclaimed as he looked over Kenny. Kenny was stretched out across more than half of the tent, and apparently, he had gotten hot in the middle of the night, because all he was wearing was his boxers, and they formed a nice little peak directly in the center. His clothes were strewn everywhere, even near Stan's feet.

The blonde groaned and brushed a strand of hair out of his sleepy morning eyes. "Morning," he greeted. "What's up?"

Stan looked down into his sleeping bag, then back up at Kenny. "Nothing," he said flatly.

Kenny stretched rather loudly--and violently--as he tossed and turned to awaken himself. "Sleep well?"

"Fine," Stan replied mechanically. Truth was, Stan hadn't slept well at all. Not after the incredible temptation of Kenny in the lake, at the fire, and afterwards when Kenny decided it was fun to break out his singing voice and, more or less, serenade Stan in the mountains. At least, that's how he saw it.

"Me too," Kenny announced, which was true. Not only did he mind hanging out in his boxers, but he even gave himself a good morning scratch, drawing attention to his privates. After being nude with Stan the night before, being seen around the boy in his underwear seemed tame in comparison. "You want some breakfast?" Kenny asked.

"Sure" Stan agreed. "What do we have?"

"Well we ain't got much," Kenny announced, already making his way out of the tent and over to the grocery bags. "Think I forgot about breakfast food."

"Uh...well what DO we have?"

"Mallows. Chips." Kenny rummaged even further. "Heeey, I got jerky! Want some good beef JERKy?"

Stan shut his eyes, groaning at the thought. "No thanks...I-I'll just have chips I guess." He wasn't about to touch marshmallows again, and the beef jerky spoke for itself.

"Suit yourself." Kenny broke open the package of jerky and pulled one out, biting down. Half of it hung out of his mouth as he stood up. "I gotta take a piss."

"Okay...well have fun with that," Stan responded.

Kenny shrugged and walked off, munching the food with one hand while the other reached into his boxers to find his member and whip it out.

Stan sighed and got out of his sleeping bag, taking the opportunity to grab some food without Kenny around to see the bulge the boy gave Stan in his pants. He tore open a bag of plain chips.

He soon found how cold the air felt on his bare forearms, and he wondered how Kenny, as skinny as he was, could walk around with such ease in nothing but a thin sheath covering his genitals. Stan grabbed a sweatshirt from out of his tent and pulled it on. This also masked the reaction Kenny had given him. He scratched his head. What was he doing out here? He was going insane with...something...for Kenny.

"...Hey Stan?" Kenny called from a few feet away in a bush.

"Yeah?" he called back.

"Um, we have a problem."

Kenny's voice rang with alarm. It worried Stan. "W-what?" He dropped his chips and started heading over towards Kenny.

"Don't come over!" Kenny called.

"Why not?" Stan asked, which of course only made him want to come even closer.

A minute later, Stan realized exactly why Kenny's voice was filled with worry. There, on the ground, was a large, black, slithering snake of some kind.

**"Aaaaah**!" Stan screamed in terror. He began running around frantically like a madman. "DUUUUUDE!" he kept yelping, running nowhere in particular.

The sight was amusing to Kenny, who knew very well just how scared of snakes Stan was. He wasn't the slightest bit on edge. "Stan, calm down!"

"KENNY! LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

"Stan!"

"AAHHH!"

"Stan?"

"WE HAVE TO GO! WE HAVE TO LEAVE!"

"STAN!" Kenny exclaimed. "It's okay! This one isn't poison."

"HOLY SHIT DUDE!" Stan shrieked.

Kenny jogged over to his friend to place a calming hand on both of his shoulders. "STAN! Calm down!"

He just continued to scream as the snake slithered toward him. Despite his urge for some food, Stan ran back to the safety of the tent.

Kenny couldn't help but giggle as he arranged himself in his boxers and tromped past the snake and back to where Stan was huddled in a tight mass, attempting to pack up all of his belongings at the same time. "I think you scared it away, dude," he told the panicked boy.

"This isn't funny!" Stan snapped while shoving some items of clothing into his bag. "We have to get outta here!"

"Stan, it's fine. The snake's safe, the area's safe, and we're leaving today anyway."

"No shit. We're leaving now!" Stan informed the smirking blonde as he stood up and sprinted to the truck. He sat in the passenger seat for a few minutes, assuming that Kenny would soon follow. Eventually, he didn't see any trace of Kenny, and looked back in the direction of the tent. "What are you doing? I said we're leaving NOW!" he cried.

Kenny nodded. "I heard you."

"...So come on!"

"No."

Stan impatiently shook his leg in the truck, periodically turning around to find Kenny casually sitting by the snacks and digging in to the beef jerky. Stan closed his eyes and felt his heart racing faster than when he once accidentally touched Kyle's penis underwater. He was DEATHLY afraid of snakes--why couldn't Kenny see that? What the fuck was Kenny doing? He got more and more irritated the more he sat around.

"Here!' Kenny called as he hurled some beef jerky through the opened car window, Ken still standing around in his boxers. He was sure this would take Stan's mind off of things eventually

Unfortunately, the dried meat smacked Stan directly in the middle of his forehead and bounced off to land in his lap. He glared at Kenny, who had covered his mouth to mask his laughter. "Fuck you," Stan muttered as he tossed the jerky out the window and onto the dirt.

"You owe me a piece of jerky, Stan," Kenny noted, pointing his piece down to the thrown away piece.

"Fuck the jerky!" Stan responded. "Let's go!"

"Stan, the snake's gone. Come on dude. I wouldn't keep you here if it was unsafe, would I?"

"I'm beginning to wonder..." Stan whispered as he reluctantly--VERY reluctantly--unlocked the car door. Another few minutes and he opened the door, darting his eyes on the ground for any slithering offender. He stepped onto the dirt just beside the jerky. "Kay, I'm out. Now can we go?"

Kenny shook his head once again. "Sit, have some breakfast. Relax." He placed his hands on Stan's shoulders, pulling him back toward their camping area.

Stan sighed, admittedly enjoying the blonde's touch. "All right," he carefully agreed in a bit of a trance thanks to that damn, half-naked boy.

Kenny plopped down right beside the log that they sat naked on the night before, crossing his legs Indian-style. A little gap peaked on his boxers, and before he even had time to notice there was a draft, he caught Stan's dreamy gaze zoomed right in on his bulge. He counted the number of seconds it took before Stan pried his eyes away to acknowledge Kenny's presence. Eight seconds.

"Thinkin' about that snake again, are ya?" Kenny asked, unable to hide his grin.

"Huh? No, I'm fine." Stan feigned innocently. "...Why? Is he back!"

"No." Kenny smirked, not even bothering to tuck himself back into his shorts. His erection would've been uncomfortable in there anyway.

Kenny fidgeted with his beef jerky. Normally, he would do the casual flirting technique and just make Stan fall into his hands like putty. But it wasn't working, and he wasn't sure why. He figured he'd have to push the boy in the direction HE knew Stan wanted to go. It would start with showing himself off every chance he could get. He stood up in front of Stan's face, and pretended to look around. "Guess we can start taking down the tent now," he decided.

Stan gulped. "Kay..." he squeaked out.

Kenny nodded and headed back to the tent, making sure to bend over as he unfastened the poles. "I had fun."

"Me too." Stan agreed. In fact, he was still having fun staring at Kenny. And not helping to take the tent down at all so far.

Kenny pushed the poles out of the ground and began unlinking them. "Wow, this is a long rod," he announced, singling one out and handing it over to Stan. "Looks sturdy too. Could build a nice tent, don't you think, Stan?" Kenny turned his face and continued taking down the tent as Stan observed the aforementioned rod placed neatly in his hand.

"I...I'm pretty sure you need all of them to make a tent, Ken," he replied.

"You could help, you know." Kenny reminded him. "I know that you know how to...pitch a tent."

Stan groaned quietly. Kenny was damn right on that one. Both literally and metaphorically. He did help take the tent down, if only because working with that material could hide the bulge forming inside of his own pants.

"Am I just dropping you off when we get back to town, or do you wanna hang out for a while?" Kenny asked, hopeful. He looked to Stan who bore his eyes into the fabric of the tent. He was way too uncomfortable to be having any kind of conversation. And he was tired of feeling that way. The way Kenny was looking at him, the whole scene at Jmart the night before...Stan was quite sure of what he wanted. He just couldn't formulate it into words. He couldn't understand why he felt that way either. Well, he could. It was because Stan was a nervous teenage boy. All the same, it's not like he had to worry about rejection from Kenny. Or, at least, it seemed unlikely.

"Stan?" Kenny asked again, wanting him to answer the question.

Stan took a deep breath and decided to just let it all out. Sort of. He couldn't stand feeling so awkward around his friend. His cute, hot, loving friend...Oh god...

Stan sighed. "Yeah Ken, we can hang out after...I'd like that a lot...In fact, I guess you could say that uh..." He made sure to emphasize the next words. "...That I want to be with you...You know?"

Kenny dropped all of the poles he had gathered up onto the ground. He turned to face Stan, who was looking up at him through clear blue eyes. They were screaming "take me, take me!" Kenny cleared his throat and attempted to play suave. "Oh...uh...well...we...um..." he sputtered, worse than Stan before.

"...What?" Stan replied with concern. Fuck! Had he come on too strongly? He felt like he'd barely come on at all, but Kenny was obviously taking the hint. Maybe he really didn't want Stan after all?

Kenny's throat had gone dry. All of his teasing, his fooling around...it was fun because it got a most-anticipated reaction out of Stan. He wasn't honestly expecting Stan to just come right out and say anything! Where was the fun in that? Now that he knew for sure what they both wanted, he couldn't figure out what to do next. And, for the first time in his life, he was at loss for words.

"...Well, we don't have to hang out I guess." Stan backed off a bit.

"No! I-I mean it's just...It…Um...No, tha-that's fine dude. I asked didn't I?"

"Well, yeah, you did."

"Okay, so...we'll do it then," Kenny said, this time with no actual hidden meaning.

"'Kay," Stan replied.

With that, they just continued to remove the tent in mostly all silence. At least Stan's mind had gotten off of the snake, and gotten onto...Well, the snake. Kenny tucked his member back inside his sorts casually as their boners faded from nervousness and new thoughts about leaving the campsite.


	5. What Games Are Fun To Play?

WARNING: graphic scene! So graphic, _this_ is the edited version. Once again, if you're interested in the unedited version, please message us.

**Chapter 5**- What Games Are Fun To Play?

Like most all nerds, Kyle and Wendy enjoyed Star Wars movies. They came out of the latest release from the franchise, carrying their complimentary light sabers, and walked home together on the sidewalk.

"Those new special effects were pretty cool." Kyle remarked.

"What do you expect? They were pre-digitalized and pre-recorded and done up so much that I don't think the original movie is in there anymore," Wendy replied half-heartedly. She linked her arm in Kyle's and smiled. "But I'm glad we decided to see it anyway."

Kyle smiled back. "Anything to get you to stop talking about my damn childhood attachments."

"It's cute" she responded simply. "If you really don't want to be ridiculed, throw it out."

"No way, dude!"

Wendy smirked. "Then expect to get ridiculed."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Alright, well, now that I've got you AWAY from Blankie, what do you say we grab a bite to eat?"

Wendy nodded. "Sure. Where do you want to go?"

Kyle shrugged. "Wherever."

"That doesn't help. We have to decide where to walk toward."

"True," Ky admitted. "But we always have this problem when we go out anyway. We always have to decide if we're going to your place or mine, or our separate ways."

"We're very opinionated people," Wendy explained.

"Nah, I'd say we're both pig-headed."

Wendy's nostrils flared. "YOU might be pig-headed, Kyle, but I am STRONG IN MY OPINIONS!"

"And your vocal range," he remarked while holding his ears.

"OOooh," Wendy scolded while jabbing him with her light saber. "I'm just saying. I am NOT stubborn."

Kyle laughed. "Yeah, you're right, Wends. You're definitely not stubborn. So, then of course you won't mind that I would actually like you to eat with me at home tonight? Mom makes a mean beef stew."

"Oh, I'm sure she does. All right Kyle, I'll come over your house again and have dinner...And then I'll go home. Surely -you're- okay with that?" she asked, making sure to phrase it as a question.

"Well, of course!" Kyle leaned in closer to Wendy's arm. "You realize that after that we will have spent over twelve hours together?"

"Wow, really?" Wendy checked her watch for confirmation. "Jeez! I guess it's true what they say: Time flies when you're having fun."

Kyle shoved her. "That was lame, Wendy."

"It was not! Besides," she said and leaned over to peck Kyle on the lips, "I'm telling you I'm having fun with YOU. That's an accomplishment."

"An accomplishment?" he repeated. "What, like it's so hard to have fun with me?"

"Well, considering the kind of fun you'd like to have, yes."

Kyle dropped Wendy's arm and put his hands on his hips, stopping his steady stride forward. "And what is THAT supposed to mean?" His face reddened as he spoke, however, because he knew exactly what that was supposed to mean.

Wendy stopped as well. She turned to face him and sighed. "Kyle, do you know why I was reluctant to let you on the debate team? Why I was hesitant to let you over my house? It's because I know your reputation. I know what you want, and I know when you get it from a girl you tend to become bored with her."

At this point, it was impossible for Kyle to feel any shorter than he already did. He cowered in shame at the truthful words Wendy innocently relayed to him, making him feel two inches tall. "I...I...I'm not always like that," he stuttered.

"So far." she agreed. "And I'm impressed. But I doubt you can keep it up."

"I bet I can!" Kyle challenged. He felt the need to defend his honor.

Wendy smiled. "Kyle. Don't bet. I don't want you to lose."

He smirked. "Even if I lost, I'd still win."

"Kyle, don't hold out to prove some point. If you did, you'd be so stubborn about it you'd never get what you want...Even if I wanted you to sometime." She smiled.

Kyle's eyes lit up. "Are you saying-"

"No."

"But we may-"

"Don't think about that."

"I'm confused, Wendy."

Wendy smiled. "That's right where I want you to be. Alright, take me to that beef stew you talked about."

Because it was such a nice evening, Wendy and Kyle had to no problems walking to and from the movie theater.

And because Sheila Broflovski was a prying Jewish woman, and a mother, it was her obligation to embarrass Kyle over the course of their dinner.

"So Wendy, how long have you and my little Bubbie been dating?"

"Oh, well, we aren't really dating, ma," Kyle interrupted.

Wendy glared at him. "Yes we are." She turned politely to Sheila, disregarding Kyle's obvious want to change the subject. "Two weeks this Monday, Mrs. Broflovski."

"Oh that's wonderful." Sheila commented as she clapped her hands together.

"This stew is very good." Wendy remarked. Kyle just ate, feeling lost in the female conversation.

The meal went by quickly, mostly with girl talk springing up here and there in front of Kyle and Gerald's oblivious stares. They quietly sipped at their soup and allowed the women to converse. Sheila cleared the table and went into the kitchen. "Wendy, would you be a dear and help me out with dessert?" she asked from the other room.

Wendy smiled at Kyle, who had sunk low in his chair. If Wendy and Sheila were in another room, they were free to talk about Kyle however they wanted.

"Sure, Mrs. Broflovski," Wendy answered. "I'll be right there."

"She seems nice." Gerald commented to his son once the girls were out of the room. After years of marriage, Gerald had learned it was usually best not to listen in on female conversation, and it was also a good idea to get their own words in while they were gone, since they probably wouldn't get the chance once they returned.

"She...she's incredible," Kyle replied, obviously swooning.

"You know, Wendy," Sheila began as she took out a homemade apple dumpling from out of the fridge and sprinkled it with cinnamon, "Kyle is a very special boy."

Wendy smiled. "Yeah, he is." She refrained from being sarcastic as to how "special" Kyle was in front of his mother.

"And you are special too, Wendy," Sheila continued. "Kyle has never brought a girl home for dinner before."

"...Oh?" she said. The thought did make Wendy feel a bit special inside. Still, she was sure there had to be a reason Kyle didn't want his parents to meet the girls he'd be breaking up with soon enough.

"I was beginning to wonder if he would ever take a liking to girls. He used to spend so much time with Stanley, I was quite sure that..." Sheila's voice faded and she shook her head. "I'm just so happy for you two."

Wendy's eyes grew wide. What, exactly, was Sheila implying? Kyle liked girls. In fact, he liked them all too much. Come to think of it, though, Stan hadn't had a girlfriend since her. What did that mean? Her mind began to swarm with possibilities as she brought the individual bowls out to the boys in the other room.

---

And so the boys made it back to Kenny's house. They took in the camping equipment and separated their personal belongings. Kenny made sure to hide his yet-to-be-used condoms in his back pocket for the time being.

"So..." Kenny began once they were out of things to do.

"So..." Stan agreed, also trailing off just as quickly.

Kenny's ability to suggest anything dirty had escaped him. He felt as though his brain was busted. On the unbearably silent drive back, he began processing his thoughts. He pondered his exact feelings for the black-haired boy in front of him. "You're the guest, Stan. You pick what we do," he offered, hoping for yet another bold statement.

Stanley shrugged. "We could go upstairs," he offered, which made Ken's eyes light up. "And play video games." Stan finished.

"We could do that..." Kenny agreed. Already the wheels in his head were cranked full blast on how Stan's words "video games" could secretly mean something--anything--else.

"You lead the way, dude," Stan said, gesturing for Kenny to pass. He was enjoying seeing Kenny's unsure movements. It meant he was human, too. And it meant that his guard was down. Stan had broken through his force field.

Stan entered the room behind Kenny. They each took a cautious seat on the edge of Kenny's bed, making sure to keep just enough distance between themselves. Neither boy wanted to seem obvious. Kenny did have a video game system in his room, it wasn't a very good one. He hoped it would die soon, as it tended to do, which would force the boys to do something else. Who knows? Maybe Stan was hoping that too.

"What game do you wanna play?" Kenny asked, once again assuming the role of the host. Stan shrugged, keeping his eyes glued to Kenny. Yep, Stan definitely didn't care what game.

"You don't care what game we play," Kenny surmised.

Stan blushed bashfully, fiddling with his folded fingers.

"...Well, my system is kinda shitty." Ken admitted. "Maybe we should try another kind of game." he said as innocently as possible. "That is, if you don't mind." he added, making sure to show respect to his guest.

"What kind of game?" Stan asked, equally as innocent. He was still embarrassed from earlier, when Kenny seemingly turned him down for being brutally obvious. He wanted Kenny to STOP playing his mind games and admit it himself.

"One where we both win," Kenny replied, grinning.

"...Oh?" Stan grinned in hope, seemingly getting the confession he needed. "I doubt there are many games like that."

"There is one..."

"Explain this game to me," Stan challenged as he crossed his legs on the corner of the bed and situated himself into a more comfortable position, gazing questionably at Kenny. "What are the rules?"

"Keep Away," Kenny said. "...Erotic Keep Away to be exact."

"...Kay...what are the rules?" Stan repeated, his eyes focused on Kenny's expression.

"Simple," Kenny replied. "You can't touch me."

"Can you...touch me?" Stan croaked, swallowing very hard.

Kenny shook his head.

"...Sounds fun." Stan replied, a bit sarcastically.

Kenny smirked. "Well, we don't wanna be all GAY about it."

"No. Of course not," Stan played along. He felt his nerves soothe as he slid inches closer to Kenny, breathing near his neck. Kenny looked at him with intrigue. "What? I like this spot of the bed better."

Kenny smiled. "And now we begin."

"Kay," Stan said, grinning wider now.

"Kay," Kenny agreed as he gazed into Stan's eyes.

It appeared the boys had finally reached a quiet agreement about their feelings for one another. Or at least, they'd finally agreed about certain feelings. That was a good start. Thank God!

"Now what?" Stan asked, leaning so far into Kenny's ear, he swore he could feel Stan's eyelashes on his earlobe. Just the warm, steady breath of his crush sent a warm blast all over his body. He turned to Stan, who gazed thoughtfully into Kenny's eyes.

"I lose," Kenny announced, smashing his lips against the soft, pouty lips of Stan.

Stan laughed slightly at Ken's inability to control himself, before quitting the game rather easily as well. His lips pressed back to Kenny's hotly, not even pulling back as his mouth curved from a pout to a big smile.

Kenny took the opportunity to bring his hand up to Stan's cheek, pulling it closer to his own face, if that were possible. He, too, smiled as they both fell back onto the bed, Kenny's chest pressing close against the boy beneath him.

Stan moaned, bringing a hand to the back of Kenny's head. He too pulled the boy down closer on top of him, if THAT were possible, and savored every moment of their long first kiss that they'd each been dying to do for what seemed like an eternity now.

Kenny pulled away, panting. "Toldja it was a fun game." he breathed. His lips barely inched away from Stan's as he spoke.

Kenny could feel Stan smile again as he went in for a kiss again, discovering Stan's exposed teeth. He felt all giddy, like a schoolgirl who found out about a school dance. He was pressed so tightly against Stan's upper body, their heartbeats melted together, forming a consistent racing beat. Kenny took the opportunity to pull back and reach for the bottom of Stan's shirt.

Stan moaned as he felt the blonde's warm hand creep inside his shirt and rub against his skin. He shivered, having longed for that feeling since they were naked together in the woods the night before. Stanley's hands decided to return the favor, making Kenny giggle as the raven-haired boy wrestled his top off up over his head.

Kenny threw the obstructing shirt off of his arms and onto the floor. He pulled back, placing a caring hand back onto Stan's cheek. He stroked it back and forth before going in for the kill once more.

Stan reached up, immediately exploring every inch of Kenny's exposed back, arms, and chest. He memorized the smooth feel to his calloused hands, and found that he would have lost in Kenny's little game the minute Kenny took of his shirt...had they really been trying to play it.

Kenny found himself moaning soon as well, quite enjoying Stanley's touch. The boys' tongues were soon probing one another's mouths. They weren't sure who initiated the Frenching first, but they were damn glad to have it going on. The irony was that they had been totally naked together the night before, and were totally alone, versus now with Kenny's family home and their lower bodies still covered. The fact that they didn't jump at the chance until now probably meant two things, whether the boys realized it or not. One, they were going to go crazy with passion at this moment. And two, they probably had a genuine liking for one another. If it were purely sexual, they could've gotten each other off in some many "friends with benefits" fashion and been done with it by now.

Still, it was hard--no pun intended--to not rip off each other's clothes. Stan found himself clawing into Kenny's back as Kenny's fingers lightly stroked Stan's back, from the nape of the neck to the trim of his jeans. "Hang on," Stan instructed as he peeled a curious Kenny off of him and shed his own shirt. Turned out HE was the most eager of the two. He fell back down to his mold in the bed, grabbing Kenny and taking him down with him. "Continue," he said.

Kenny did just that, grunting as Stan animalistically clawed his backside. Kenny returned the feeling with polar opposite light touches, massaging Stan's body up and down as their tongues hotly wrestled for supremacy inside of Stan's mouth, both boys moaning against each other's moist lips.

Stan mustered enough strength to pull Kenny's entire body over top of him. Although Kenny wasn't too heavy, the task caused Stan to grunt, rather loudly. Kenny pulled away from their kisses and turned his attention to the door. Unfortunately, his parents couldn't afford locks. Kenny put a finger up to Stan's lips and said, "Hold that thought." He leapt over to the door and shoved his old skateboard under the handle. He did NOT want to be interrupted. Giddily, he frolicked back over to his bed, literally pouncing on Stan. "Now...YOU can continue," he added, making sure to have the last say.

The boys began kissing again on the bed again. "You'd think I'd be nervous about this," Stan interrupted it to say. "I've never...uh...that is, I'm a...this is my first time." The last part of his statement was spoken in no more than a whisper. He looked down to the end of the bed where, conveniently, Kenny's exposed lower body blocked his view. Stan felt a deep, passionate kiss in response to his confession. He moaned before feeling Kenny pull away again. He whimpered slightly, not liking it when the blonde's lips left his own.

Kenny began to playfully kiss down Stanley's body, and finally cupped the boy's hot balls when his mouth was nearing his sex organ.

Stan had a hard time controlling the noises his mouth would involuntarily make. He tensed up as Kenny's warm mouth surrounded the entire length of his penis, and his hands shot out to Kenny's blonde mop. "Shit, Ken!" he squealed, practically ready to go right then and there. Stan was a virgin, sure, but what he didn't care to mention was that this is most action he had EVER gotten. "Ugh..." he groaned. His eyes went cross-eyed before rolling up to the back of his head. He fought with every fiber in his body to keep from exploding in satisfaction so soon, but it was too late. Kenny's tongue had performed tricks Stan didn't even know were physically possible. His body tensed as he felt himself on the verge. "Oh God," he moaned, tangling his fingers in Kenny's mane.

Ken's eyes opened as he felt Stan's hands getting a bit rougher with his head during climax. He had to admit, he liked it just a little. All he got was an eyeful of Stan's rising and falling stomach as the boy exploded.

"Guh," Stan murmured after an eternity of blissful, unbreaking silence. He tried to prop up his elbows, but collapsed due to the difficulty of the task. He sunk deep into the bed, unable to wipe the sweat that had accumulated on his forehead.

Kenny wiped his mouth as he pulled away from Stanley's organ. He giggled a bit at his new plaything's sex noises, and then gently spread Stan's legs apart. "Feel good?"

"Yeah," Stan panted, smiling up at the blonde.

Kenny nodded and retrieved a condom. "Now it's my turn."

A huge grin spread across Stan's face as his head fell back onto the bed once again. "You...have to give me a little bit of time. To recover. From that," he explained.

Kenny brought his body up to lie beside Stan. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Stan's eyes remained closed and that silly toothy grin was still visible. "Oh yeah. I'm sure." He leaned over to Kenny's general direction, kissing what he thought was Kenny's lips. Turned out to be his chin. Stan never opened his eyes.

"Heh," Ken laughed slightly, rolling the lubricated condom over his fingers. "I'm glad you liked it," he commented. "...Um, my turn might hurt a little."

Stan's euphoria had clouded his logic. "How would it hurt me? I've...sucked on things...before."

Kenny let out a soft chuckle and kissed his newfound obsession. "You're so cute."

Stanley cuddled up to Kenny. He kissed him yet again, not wanting to stop their love-fest either.

"Mmm," Kenny moaned before pulling their mouths apart again. He ran a hand across Stan's cheek, making the other boy aware of his lubed fingers. "We can…suck things…if you want." Kenny offered. "Or I can help you with that virgin thing."

"Oh!" Stan exclaimed, inquisitively. Still, he made no movement with his body to say yes or no. "You...could..."

Kenny was alarmed. He was so turned on, he could barely breathe. Not only was the object of his affections in front of him...that object was a virgin! He wanted so badly to break that, but he didn't dare push Stan. He, too, sat, unmoving, waiting for the black-haired boy's OK.

Stan sighed, finally getting back to normal. "I don't know...I mean, I'd like to but..." He blushed as his voice trailed off. "I'm nervous."

Kenny nodded, bringing his hand downward on Stan's body, gently stroking his palm along the other boy's smooth flesh.

"Tell you what," he bargained. "I'll get you ready. It'll hurt for a second, but after that if you like it and want to, we can go further. If you like it and just wanna...do other stuff, that's cool too. And if you hate it...Well then I'll just stop and go home." He smiled.

"No!" Stan yelled. "I mean...I think we'll be fine. Just...go easy on me." He grinned. "I'm just a boy."

Kenny's lips pressed to Stan's once again. His free hand spread the boy's legs apart on the bed, giving Kenny more room to work his magic. Stanley's whole body tensed up as he felt the digits carefully starting to probe his backside. Ken was right-it did hurt a bit. He whimpered in initial protest, but Kenny just kept kissing and kissing his face until the first pains of virginity loss began to fade.

"How ya doin?" Kenny asked, after he could feel Stan's body gradually begin to relax again. "You okay?"

Stan laughed nervously. "It's weird...you wouldn't think something like that would feel...good." He looked into Kenny's eyes and gave him a nonverbal signal to keep going.

Kenny continued his fingering, while rolling the protection over his erection with his remaining hand. "I plan to show you lots of things that feel good," he said with a wink. Stan could only moan in response as his presumed new boyfriend discovered the location of his prostate gland.

"Guh," Stan mumbled in response again. He closed his eyes and let Kenny take him to levels of heightened pleasure. Something he'd only been able to achieve by his lonesome in a locked room. And even that didn't feel as good as..."GUH!" he sucked in a breath and opened his eyes wide.

Kenny only smiled.

"Oh fuck…fffffuck!" Stan let out a guttural sound and brought his hands and face up to Kenny. He attempted to open his eyes and stare at the incredibly hot blonde boy before him, but he could only see him through a glowing film that had produced over his eyes. It was unreal. He had never experienced anything so...out-of-body...

Kenny gasped, feeling Stan's legs tighten around his body. As he reached his climax, their mouths pressed together one more time. Their bodies, much like their rapidly beating hearts, were finally joined together,

He felt himself spasm uncontrollably, both outside and in, of Stan's body. Stan watched as his lover closed his eyes and shivered, taking extremely shallow breaths. Trying his best to remain as quiet as possible, Kenny let out a very long, very satisfying sigh afterwards and peered up into Stan's blue eyes. "We should play that game more often," he said through a smile.


	6. What's So Wrong With Being In Love?

Okay, it's been a LONG time for an update on this one. And the whole story is actually finished. There has been a total lack of reviews on this, and my thoughts are cause it is not Stan/Kyle. Which, okay, I'll give it to you guys…I'd be hesitant to read it without my two favorite boys. But hey, we all gotta try something different every once in a while, right? And it's a GOOD STORY! Kyleisgod and I feel it is, any way.

So this will NOT be our first discontinued fic due to non-reviews. I'm posting it in hopes it'll gain more interest. But, even if it doesn't, we don't depend on reviews. So those of you reading it, read away! (Leave a review if you want us to be happy.)

Heh, heh. I really like Kyle as a horny bastard.

**Chapter 6**- What's So Wrong With Being In Love?

The next school day finally rolled around. After their passionate weekend together Kenny and Stan seemed unable to keep their hands off one another. It was ironic considering their previously unbreakable restraint. But now everything was finally out in the open, and they seemed to feel that they should be too.

Kyle didn't mind their pawing at one another. In fact, he didn't seem to even notice during lunch. He was too caught up in his own thoughts, which were once again finding themselves centered around Wendy.

"I just don't understand it." he said to his friends while picking at his food. They didn't respond. They were too busy kissing. "I can't even touch her, but I still hang out with her a lot. I swear guys, she's a witch or something."

Stan turned his head to answer Kyle, just as Kenny went in for yet another kiss. It resulted in Kenny laying a big wet slobber on Stan's ear. "Dude, I think you just...like her AW AWWW!" Stan whined as his ear filled up with Kenny's tongue.

For the first time, Kyle looked at the two boys, registering what was going on. It was kind of hard NOT to fully comprehend--Stan was straddling the bench with Kenny in between. Kenny's hands turned Stan's face to reach his lips once more.

"Are you guys...?" Kyle wondered aloud, though he knew the answer to his own question.

"Mm-hmm," Ken answered for the two as one of his hands crept inside the front of Stan's shirt.

Kyle blinked, making sure he was seeing the image before him correctly. He blinked again. "...'Kay. Um, good for you, I guess."

Stan muffled a quick "thanks" in response.

Kyle sighed, getting back to Wendy. "But it'll suck if I like her. She might move away next year, remember? At this rate I don't know if I'm getting anywhere good with her. I said I'd miss her before, but if we're all in love and stuff, it's gonna be even harder."

Stan immediately pulled away from Kenny, pushed his hands away, and swiveled so that he faced Kyle. He knew Kyle better than anyone else in the whole world, and the statement he had just made caused Stan to forget about Kenny momentarily. "You're falling IN LOVE?"

Kyle's eyes opened wide. "NO! I'm NOT! I'm just saying...what if, you know?"

Stan's jaw had dropped. Kenny watched his boyfriend in awe, not really caring about Kyle's life and snaked a hand down Stan's leg to distract him. Stan lightly brushed it away. "Dude, you know what this means?"

"I didn't say that I was!"

"But you've NEVER used the word "love" in a sentence before! Especially with a girl you're dating!"

"I just...I-it was a hypothetical. I don't actually...I mean..." He tried to find the words, and failed.

"Kyle, I think you love her dude."

"No!" he whined briefly, before looking into his friend's eyes for confirmation. "Are you sure?"

"It seems like it. Sorry dude."

Kyle sighed once more, as if love were this great new burden in his life. "Great. Now what the hell am I s'pposed to do?"

Stan shied away from the issue. "Oh, dude...I'm not sure. I've never been one to fall for the ladies." He was surprised he could admit that so freely. Kyle blushed briefly at the statement, having known his best friend's previous feelings for him. "You could get her, like flowers and stuff."

Kyle threw his head down on the table in agony. "Dude!"

Kenny reached over and patted him on the back, finally giving up on Stan. "Cheer up, man! You're supposed to be able to frolic through fields of daisies hand-in-hand and land in the clouds when you're in love. It's not a bad thing."

Stan turned to his boyfriend with an amused expression.

"Like you'd know." Kyle muttered in response. He made sure to keep his voice low as he spoke the words. Kyle knew that the last thing he wanted to do right now was draw his dating friends into a discussion about love. It could lead to their own awkward conversation about their growing relationship, and Kyle knew it was probably best for those two not to go down that road just yet.

"Besides," Stan reminded him. "I told you before not to worry about next year. You know what they say: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it'll stay with you. Or something."

"Sometimes I think 'they' don't know what the fuck they're talking about." Kyle admitted as he raised his head back up from the countertop. "Besides, what if SHE doesn't love ME? Then I'd really look stupid."

Just then, Stan spied Wendy out of the corner of his eye. It was like some overly done, cliché twist of fate, because she wasn't even IN that lunch period. He watched her enter with grace and poise that only a woman in love could have. She didn't seem to notice him observing her, but her eyes glanced upon the back of Kyle's head with love and adoration for a brief moment before she tapped the teacher who was supervising--the reason for her visit. "She loves you, dude."

"Stan commands it to be so, it shall be so," Kyle snorted.

Stan reached over the table, slapping Kyle on the side of the head. "NO, wiseass, LOOK!" He gestured his head and eyes to the lady-in-question.

Kyle followed Stan's eyes, slowly turning his head as though it needed to be oiled to turn without squeaking. There, among the teachers, was his first and only love. He watched as she conversed with a specific teacher, nodding to Kyle every once in a while and smiling warmly. The simple acknowledgement sent heat waves coursing through his body. He turned to his companions with a wide grin. "She loves me!"

"Cool." Kenny said. "So do something about it."

"Yeah!" he replied with growing determination. "...Like what?"

Stan and Kenny's hands slapped their respective foreheads in unison.

"Christ, do we have to think of everything?" Stan questioned rhetorically.

"Just keep doing whatever you do." Kenny shrugged. "It's obviously working."

"What we do. Right."

That made sense. They had already reached the point of love. Whatever they had in common, whatever they did together, it seemed to be working just fine. At least outside of the bedroom. All Kyle had to do was what he'd been doing, and he'd continue winning her over. It was so simple and surely it would be easy enough to pull off. Just keep doing what you're already doing with her. There was just one two-part question left in Kyle's mind.

What the hell DID they do together anyway, and why did that make getting to home plate so impossible?

"Kyle."

"What else do you guys think I can do to keep doing what I'm doing and still get what I'm wanting?"

"Kyle..."

"I'm not sure I even know what I want, if that's not what she wants."

"Kyle!"

"Christ, I'm turning into a pussy, she's already got me whipped-"

"KYLE!" both Kenny and Stan screamed to the lost-in-thought redhead. "No time to think, she's heading this way!" Stan informed, nodding his head to Wendy.

"WHAT?!" Kyle turned his head to see her approaching for himself. "SHIT!" he exclaimed upon realizing that she was in fact headed his way. The rather audible statement made Wendy stop moving forward for a moment, caught off guard. Fortunately she laughed it off and kept heading toward the table and the object of her apparent desires. She had quite the skip to her step as she moved, the boys noticed. It was probably that love thing.

"Hi guys."

She greeted them all in one shot, but of course the focus of her eyes was primarily on Kyle.

"Hey Wendy," Stan said, a little too cheerily. He beamed at her, and then turned his attention toward Kyle, who was unable to move, speak, or breathe.

"We were just talking about you," Kenny added, once again placing an arm over Stan's shoulder. This caused Wendy to raise her eyebrow at Kyle, who still sat like an unmovable drone.

"Well I hope its good," she replied wearily and bent down to kiss Kyle on the cheek. Upon contact, they turned a bright shade of magenta, clashing wildly with his auburn curls. "Hey you, I had to run an errand to Mr. Trevor, but I saw you and couldn't leave without coming over."

"..." he breathed back.

"I was thinking we could go over notes for the next debate tonight." Wendy added with a smile.

"..."

"H-he'd like that!" Stan answered on behalf of his friend, trying to help him out a bit. "Wouldn't you Kyle?"

Stan reached out, shaking his friend by the shoulder a bit in hopes that he'd finally respond.

"I'd love you. TO!" He shook his head. "I've love TO. Sounds...great."

Kenny and Stan exchanged glances and watched their bumbling mess of a friend continue. If this was how he wowed Wendy, then Stan was GLAD he wasn't into girls. It would have been too easy for them to like him back. He wasn't so different from his best friend. They both clammed up at the mention of their crushes. He sighed. Although getting over Kyle had been the hardest obstacle he'd ever had to overcome, Stan knew it wouldn't have worked...even if Kyle WAS gay. They were just two blundering idiots, unable to annunciate whole sentences.

"O...kay..." Wendy said, suspiciously. She smiled at Kyle, but felt a little stung on the inside. He was usually this overly confident assertive guy. That was most of his appeal. What had happened? She reluctantly waved a goodbye with a kiss and left the table of friends behind.

A few minutes passed until Stan prodded Kyle. "Dude, what the FUCK was that?"

"What?" Kyle asked.

"Dude you couldn't even TALK to her." Stan pointed out. "God you're a wuss."

"I can clearly see how irresistible you would be," Kenny mocked. Stan pushed him and stared back at Kyle.

"I...dudes! I can't love her! This'll be the end of me."

"Nah." Ken disagreed.

"...As thought-provoking as that was, I mean it. I can't!"

Stan reached over and patted Kyle on the back. "You're fine. Go. Catch up with her. Apologize for being an idiot. Hang out after school, its all cool."

Kyle raised his eyebrows and bit his lip. He nervously tapped his hands on the table in front of him, debating whether to take Stan's advice.

"...The fuck are you waiting for?" Kenny said. "Go!"

Kyle rolled his eyes, knowing full-well that Kenny's motivation for his statement came more from wanting to get back to making out with Stan than anything else.

"Alright," Kyle decided. "But when I come back here, you guys better not be cleaning each other's throats, or you'll see me puke more than Stan did on that roller coaster at Cartmanland."

---

Kyle went over to Wendy's that night as agreed to. Well, as Stan had agreed to on his behalf. He actually couldn't remember exactly what Wendy had said she'd wanted to meet up for, so Kyle made sure to pack a little bit of everything in his bag. School stuff, work stuff, Jewish stuff, and of course some condoms just in case.

"Hey you!" Wendy greeted him with a big smile as she swung open the front door. She leaned forward and planted a tender kiss on his lips and then stepped back for him to enter.

Kyle had talked himself out of being nervous for the rest of the day. He had even told himself to "pop some chill pills." Then he felt like an idiot and decided to never talk to himself like that again. "Hey, babe."

Wendy smiled. She was happy to see that Kyle seemed to be back to normal. His attempt to be cool and call her a babe was also rather cute.

Kyle dropped his arm around Wendy's shoulders and strolled in, overconfidently. He mentally told himself to find a happy medium--not too wimpy, but definitely not too cocky. Unless in the bedroom. Then he could be as cocky as he wanted to be...

"SO!" he began. "What do you we do now?"

"Kyle, you are over here tonight ONLY because of what we talked about earlier," Wendy informed him.

"Right, of course." He nodded, giving her shoulders a slight massage.

"I'm SERIOUS, Kyle. We need to get to work."

Kyle cracked his knuckles and looked around the house, observing no parental influence.

"They aren't home," Wendy answered his thoughts.

Kyle stuck out his bottom lip in concentration, walking back to his woman. "Am I to understand there will be NO interruptions?"

"For our work, no."

"Well, of course not for our work."

Wendy gave Kyle a 'what the hell am I going to do with you?' look of puzzlement and headed for her room, knowing full-well that he'd be right behind her like the horndog he was.

"Where'd they go anyway?" he asked, trying to see exactly how much time he had to possibly work his magic.

She stopped in her tracks, swiveled around, and met him face to face. She used her index finger to poke at his chest. "Not this time, Kyle Broflovski. You aren't getting ANYTHING tonight. We HAVE to work."

Kyle feigned an innocent expression. "I'm just concerned that they'll be out too late, that's all."

Wendy rolled her eyes. "They will be. Out." She paused, glancing at her shoes. "All night," she added.

"...Oh?" Kyle couldn't help but smirk at the news.

Wendy sighed. "Yeah. But again, it won't MATTER. Now come on, let's get to work." she insisted.

"I feel...faint...all of the sudden," Kyle said, laying it on thick. He dramatically raised the back of his hand to his forehead and fell into Wendy. "I think I need some rest on your bed."

"Oh, no, Casanova. You're NOT pulling this, we HAVE to work!" Wendy repeated, unable to stifle her giggles.

Kyle nuzzled the nape of his girl's neck ever so softly. "And after we finish that?" he questioned persistently.

"You go home."

"To your bedroom."

"That's where we're going now." Wendy pulled away, and yanked Kyle's arm out of socket, guiding him to her bedroom.

Once inside Wendy's room, Kyle made his way over toward the bed. She may not have been laying naked on it with him, but any close proximity he could get to the mattress increased those odds for later.

"Kyle, GET up!" Wendy coaxed, walking over to her bed and outstretching her arms to pull him up. Unfortunately for her, the strength of her boyfriend pulled her down with him.

"Why hello there, Wends. Thought you wanted to work," Kyle said with a grin.

"I do!" She began to glare at him. "Only someone doesn't have their mind on it."

"I think we could fix that."

Wendy struggled to release herself from Kyle's tight grasp. She saw her evening of work going to waste before her eyes if she didn't succumb to his advances. But somehow, it was starting to piss her off. She actually NEEDED to work. "Kyle, sweetie," she said irritably, "you need to let go of me. NOW!"

Noticing her irritability, he loosened his grip just a bit. "Really?" he asked, hoping she'd change her mind or that she at least wasn't sure.

"Yes."

"Guess I should quit while I'm still ahead," he mumbled to himself, cursing the air as he let her go completely and she sauntered over to her working desk.

"There will be time for...that...later," she assured him, appeasing his manly desires.

"'Kay" he agreed, sitting up on the edge of her bed. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

"Whatever! Can we PLEASE do some work now?"

"Okay okay, jeez."

"Now," she said, straightening herself up in the chair. Kyle walked over and laid his arms on the back of it. "Where should we begin?"

Kyle shrugged. "Beats me. All my ideas get turned down."

"That's not true."

"Is so."

"Fine. Suggest a non-sexual idea, and we'll start with that."

Kyle probed his brain for ideas. "Non-sexual, non-sexual." He shrugged again. "Sorry, babe. I'm a raw sexual being with nothing to lose and everything to give."

Wendy rolled her eyes. "That is the lamest line I have ever heard ANYONE say." Though she had to admit, it had a bit of charm laced within.

"The lamest line you've ever heard huh?" Kyle repeated. "Well then, at least you'll always remember me." he retorted.

Wendy drowned him out, finally focusing on her schoolwork.

"Alright, now to get down to business."

Kyle rubbed his palms together. "That's what I'm talkin' about."

Wendy turned her head and glared at her boyfriend momentarily before returning to skimming through her notes. "I've already done research on how avalanches work, all we need now is to prove that they don't, in fact, cause the mutant turkeys to attack us."

"The snow would make them freeze." Kyle pointed out.

"No. They'll just argue that it's the ice that somehow mutates them."

"But we can get a testimony from Mephisto to prove otherwise. He's the psycho that invented them. All they've been doing is hibernating and reproducing in the mountains," Kyle explained.

"Hm...Good idea." Wendy admitted. She began making a few notes.

Kyle stood behind his girlfriend, just watching her work in admiration. He quickly grew bored and looked out her bedroom window. He noticed some wings peaking out over the girl's curtains. It was probably a bug of some kind.

He slowly retreated, back to the bed and yawned. "Boy, I'm sure am getting sleepy."

"Then drink some coffee."

Kyle made a face. "I don't like coffee."

"I've got iced tea downstairs," Wendy replied without looking up. "Pour me a glass too, while you're at it."

Kyle sighed, heading for the stairs once again. "Fine" he agreed.

It'd be one thing if Wendy just wasn't aware of his advances, but she was downright rejecting them. It was starting to get to Kyle, especially when he was so used to getting laid. He began to fix her her precious iced tea, making sure to slam a few things around extra hard to work out some of the built-up aggression.

"Shit!" he cried as he slammed the sugar jar down on the cold Formica countertop. He heard it crack. "NOT cool, dude," he scolded himself, examining the piece of pottery. It appeared to have no significant damage, and so he did what every self-respecting teenage boy would do. He whistled as he placed it back in the cupboard, heading back upstairs to his girlfriend's bedroom.

"Thank you sweetie." she replied with a warm smile.

"Sure. Whatever." he answered, handing over the tea. Ky noticed that damn bug was still outside her window, only the wings were now more visible. They were white, and rather large. In fact, based on them alone, Kyle found himself wondering just how large that bug was and what kind it must've been.

Kyle squinted his eyes a little and sneaked over to the window to take a closer look. Wendy obviously didn't need him there at that time, so it didn't matter that he was distracted.

Wendy continued writing at her desk, totally engrossed in her work. Kyle opened the blinds to see that weird bug in full view.

As it turned out, it wasn't a bug at all. It was more like a midget. A midget in a diaper, with a set of wings, carrying a bag over his shoulder.

Kyle blinked at the strange floating object, cocking his head to the side in confusion. "What the hell? Wendy, come check this out."

"Kyle, for the last time I'm not going over to that bed with you. At least not until this is done." she informed him, not even looking up from her work as she spoke.

"But Wendy-"

"No, Kyle!"

He gave up with a sigh, looking back to that...thing.

"Um, hi."

The midget spoke no audible words--at least, not that Kyle could make out.

"What're you doing, dude?" Kyle asked, casually, but very alarmed. Even for South Park, this was a bit odd. He didn't like the idea of Wendy and him being the only ones in the house. He'd have to be the hero, and while that was fun to play, he was about as wimpy as a two-year old girl.

"What?" Kyle asked, unable to hear the little guy.

The midget, or whatever it really was, flew up a bit closer to the window. He removed a small paper card from his bag and pressed it up to the glass for Kyle to read. The redhead stared at the card, reading it aloud in disbelief.

"Cupid. The God of love, the son of Venus."

"Oh Jesus Christ, you've got to be kidding me!" Kyle exclaimed.

"What?" Wendy inquired, still unable to look up.

Kyle snorted. "Nothing. Just some crazy dwarf!" He called outside before closing the blinds once again.

Suddenly, Wendy looked up. She felt compelled to walk over to Kyle. "I need you to help me, Kyle," she said in a lower-than-normal, almost seductive voice. Strange, she hadn't meant for it to come out that way.

"Sure" he agreed without a second thought, even though he probably should have had one. "With what?"

"With this," she said, and pressed her lips against the very surprised red head.

He may have been surprised, but he wasn't stupid. Kyle's lips pushed back against hers as his hands came up to rest around the girl's waist.

"I can't explain it," Wendy said in between her attacking kisses. "You're just so...irresistible!"

Silently, Kyle did a little dance. Sweeeet, he thought, eagerly moving his girlfriend to the bed.

Wendy moaned as they hit the bed together. Kyle gave a small thankful wink to that...thing looking in through the window. Maybe he really was Cupid? And if so, maybe that meant he really WAS in love with Wendy? Or, it really was just some crazy guy in a diaper. Either way, Kyle was another step closer to his goal.

"Kyle?" Wendy pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"Hmm?"

"I...I...feel that I need to tell you something," Wendy stammered.

"What?" he asked, staring back into her eyes as they briefly snuggled together.

Cupid's face contorted. He seemed to mouth the word "duh" through the window.

Kyle hushed the woman in front of him with his fingers. "I love you too, Wendy." He closed the gap between them once again, this time very gentle with his hands...and not at all strategic.

She sighed in relief that Kyle was returning the words. As he ran his fingers through her hair, Wendy couldn't help but think some perverse thoughts of her own as she kissed passionately at his face on again. If she got lower, she suspected he'd keep his hands in her hair, and probably on the back of her head. The thought amused her, and even turned her on a bit, but she wasn't ready to reward Kyle like that just yet.

Kyle watched the mysterious winged figured fly away. It seemed to get pulled into some bushes by what resembled a Manbearpig, but there was no time to worry about that now. Kyle's girlfriend was in bed with him, but seemingly more important, she had confessed her love for him and Kyle had actually returned it! In fact, he said it first, which meant that it absolutely HAD to be true. This made the Jew smile.

Wendy was overcome with a plethora of emotions. On one hand, Kyle had just confessed his love...but how often did he do that to get a girl into bed? It had felt like an outwardly presence had permeated her body, but was fading away fast. Her logic was kicking in once again, but not before she seemingly involuntarily grabbed Kyle's hand and pressed it up against her chest. She felt Kyle melt into her body as she slowly guided his hands where she found it appropriate for him to go. Some of those thoughts still remained, and she soon found herself craving his touch on her bare skin.

Kyle moaned as well, thrilled that he was finally going past kissing with his girl. Not just because it was a step closer to fucking her, but also because it meant she was finally trusting him enough to allow him to become more intimate with her. Truth be told, Kyle had touched many tits before, but he had never considered how special that made him in the eyes of the girls he was fooling around with. This time he thought about it. This time, it mattered to him.

Wendy let out a small gasp as she allowed Kyle's hands to creep underneath her shirt. She smiled to herself at the warmth of his touch to her soft tummy. She mentally noted how cautious he was as he moved his hand upwards. It took him quite a long time, as if he was working up the courage. She couldn't help but press herself into him closer. Not only was he, in his own way, teasing her, but his slow progression meant that he really DID want it to be special

Wendy found herself straddling Kyle once again in no time, their bodies a moaning, tangled mess in a matter of no time. The kisses and gropes were passionate both emotionally and physically, and for once they both seemed to enjoy it that way. As Wendy sat up overtop of Kyle, her shirt finally rose over her head, falling to the floor a second later.

"I'm still not fucking you." Wendy insisted before things could go too far.

"Th-that's cool." Kyle agreed, just thrilled to go past kissing.

He observed his girlfriend, taking in her fragrance, her curves, and the way her eyes shined in just the right light. And when she was looking at him. He felt himself fall to mush as she took hold of his hands and guided them to her back, where her bra was holding on by just two clips. Although Kyle was a mastermind at the obstructing undergarments, he fumbled around, earning a giggle out of Wendy, before she helped him out. He placed his hands on his chest in folded fashion as he watched Wendy glide her bra off her chest, exposing what he thought were the most insanely perky and beautiful breasts he had ever seen. And that was saying a lot.

Kyle grinned a huge toothy grin as his hands made contact with Wendy's bare chest. He loved getting to the next base with her. She liked it too if her moans were any indication. But more than that, he liked getting to that base with HER specifically.


End file.
